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    #1

    Hosed me down with criticisms

    My parents, hosed me down with criticisms that I did not see the likes of until then, but to my utter disbelief my uncle brushed them aside! Instead, this self-proclaimed martyr started showering me with exaltation and salutations. Such resilience and artfulness this man possessed!

    Any errors?

  1. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Hosed me down with criticisms

    Quote Originally Posted by kuben123 View Post
    My parents , hosed me down with criticisms that I did had not seen the likes of until then, but to my utter disbelief, my uncle brushed them aside! Instead, this self-proclaimed martyr started showering me with exaltation and salutations. Such resilience and artfulness this man possessed!

    Any errors?
    It's easy to brush aside criticisms if they aren't of you!
    It's now grammatical, but the latter half doesn't make a lot of sense. Maybe you had to have been there.

    Don't put a comma between the subject and the verb. Do put a comma at the end of an interpolated phrase that you have started with a comma.
    Last edited by Raymott; 22-Nov-2015 at 03:54. Reason: typo

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    #3

    Re: Hosed me down with criticisms

    My parents hosed me down with criticisms that I had not seen the likes of until then, to my utter disbelief my uncle brushed them aside! Instead, this self-proclaimed martyr started showering me with exaltation and salutations. Such resilience and artfulness this man possessed!

    Better ?

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Hosed me down with criticisms

    Sorry, I should't have crossed out the "but". Put it back in.
    You need a comma after "disbelief", as I have both illustrated and explained.

    It would read better if it wasn't in bold.

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    #5

    Re: Hosed me down with criticisms

    My parents hosed me down with criticisms that I had not seen the likes of until then, but to my utter disbelief, my uncle brushed them aside! Instead, this self-proclaimed martyr started showering me with exaltation and salutations. Such resilience and artfulness this man possessed!

    OK?

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    #6

    Re: Hosed me down with criticisms

    My parents hosed me down with criticisms that I had not seen the likes of until then, but to my utter disbelief, my uncle brushed them aside! Instead, this self-proclaimed martyr showered me with exaltation and salutations. Such resilience and artfulness this man possessed!

    My parents hosed me down with criticisms that I had not seen the likes of until then, but to my utter disbelief, my uncle brushed them aside! Instead, this self-proclaimed martyr started showering me with exaltation and salutations. Such resilience and artfulness this man possessed!

    Which is better?

  3. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Hosed me down with criticisms

    I see no real difference.

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    #8

    Re: Hosed me down with criticisms

    Quote Originally Posted by kuben123 View Post
    Any errors?
    It's not an error to use a lot of exclamation marks, but many don't like them- the writing should lead us to feel that way without the need for lots of them. They don't really add much, especially when used frequently. They're fine on billboards, but in prose are better used occasionally for genuine effect. To me, they're the punctuation equivalent of writing in capital letters.

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