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  1. DrBlueThumb's Avatar
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      • Canada
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      • Canada

    • Join Date: Aug 2015
    • Posts: 62
    #1

    Creative objective, resume

    Hi, I am applying for a position in which they want someone with creativity. Can you check this for grammar, etiquette, cohesion etc. The position is to be a cake decorator. Thanks, Clint

    CREATIVE OBJECTIVE
    I feel that because of my 12 years experience in the propagation (grow out and division), of rare, expensive, exotic corals, which are beautifully, flowered like, colorful, half animal/ half plant like creatures that originate under the water in the saline oceans. Qualifies me as being a person with creativity, because you have to cut these specimens and arrange them in a particular fashion to create a colorful piece of art. Just like a bouquet of multi-colored specifically arranged flowers. I would love to use this “unique” ability to find permanent employment where I can utilize my abilities to learn new things.

    Should
    Last edited by DrBlueThumb; 21-Nov-2015 at 18:53.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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      • American English
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      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,088
    #2

    Re: Creative objective, resume

    I suggest that you rewrite the first three "sentences" so that they really are sentences. As for the fourth one, I suggest:

    I would love to use this unique ability in a job where I can use my ability to learn new things and put my creativity to work.

  3. teechar's Avatar
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      • Iraq
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      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,196
    #3

    Re: Creative objective, resume

    CREATIVE OBJECTIVE
    I feel that because of my have 12 years' experience in the propagation (growing out and dividing) division), of rare, expensive, exotic corals, which are beautiful, flowered like, colorful, half-animal- half-plant-like creatures that originate under the water in the saline oceans. I believe that experience qualifies me as being a person with special creativity. This is because you have to cut these specimens and arrange them in a particular fashion to create a colorful piece of art, just like a bouquet of multi-colored specifically arranged flowers. I would love to use my special skills and experience this “unique” ability to find in a position of permanent employment where I can contribute positively and creatively. utilize my abilities to learn new things.

    Should

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,088
    #4

    Re: Creative objective, resume

    Maybe next time we should give DrBlueThumb a chance to do his own rewrite first.

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