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    #1

    When he writes poetry

    Hi,

    Is "When he writes poetry, he crushes his flower-like thoughts by using them in so many words" correct?

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: When he writes poetry

    "...so many words that what?"


    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: When he writes poetry

    ...by using them many words...

    I omit "so".

  2. MikeNewYork's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: When he writes poetry

    I really don't understand the sentence. Did you write it?

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    #5

    Re: When he writes poetry

    When he writes poetry, he crushes his flower-like thoughts under many words.

  3. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: When he writes poetry

    The original is fine.
    “Every miserable fool who has nothing at all of which he can be proud, adopts as a last resource pride in the nation to which he belongs; he is ready and happy to defend all its faults and follies tooth and nail, thus reimbursing himself for his own inferiority.”

    — Arthur Schopenhauer

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    #7

    Re: When he writes poetry

    It's true, it is fine, but I'd prefer to suggest a rewrite of the last few words, as I don't see how using ideas crushes them, particularly in terms of an increasing number of words. If the poet is a language learner, I'd like to have that dialog for a bit.

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