[Grammar] have I use the sequences of verbs correctly?

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Lumia625

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Hello,

I want to describe a story but I think I cannot use the sequences of verbs correctly. So I decided to transcribe my speech and deliver it to you teachers in order to tell me that have I used the sequences of verbs correct or not.

It is worthwhile for you teachers to know that all the story has happened in the past.

Thank you in advance.

"After a while cornadin's behaviour changed and his weird behaviours made his cousin too skeptical to find out why cornadin's behaviour has changed so hugely.
His cousin realized that cornadin is used to going to a basement and in that place he does different kinds of activities.
So, on an appropriate occasion when the conradin was out, she decided to go to the basement and inspect the inside of it.
After inspecting, she understood that conradin was keeping a hen in this place so she made up her mind to catch the hen and sell it in the market.
When conradin returned home, his cousin told him that I know what are you doing in that basement and to let you know I should say that I had sold your hen in a market and you can't posses it anymore."
 
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emsr2d2

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Hello,

I want to [STRIKE]describe[/STRIKE] tell a story but [STRIKE]I think I cannot use[/STRIKE] I am not sure I have used the [STRIKE]sequences[/STRIKE] sequence of verbs correctly. So I decided to transcribe my [STRIKE]speech[/STRIKE] story and [STRIKE]deliver[/STRIKE] show it to you teachers [STRIKE]in order to[/STRIKE] so that you can tell me [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] if [STRIKE]have I[/STRIKE] I have used the [STRIKE]sequences[/STRIKE] sequence of verbs correctly or not.

It is worth[STRIKE]while[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]for you teachers to know[/STRIKE] telling you that [STRIKE]all[/STRIKE] the whole story [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] happened in the past.

Thank you in advance.

"After a while Cornadin's behaviour changed and his weird [STRIKE]behaviours[/STRIKE] behaviour made his cousin [STRIKE]too skeptical[/STRIKE] curious to find out why [STRIKE]cornadin's[/STRIKE] his behaviour [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] had changed so [STRIKE]hugely[/STRIKE] much.

His cousin realized that [STRIKE]cornadin is used to[/STRIKE] he had been going into [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] the basement [STRIKE]and in that place[/STRIKE] where he [STRIKE]does[/STRIKE] had been taking part in all different kinds of activities.

So, [STRIKE]on an appropriate occasion[/STRIKE] one day, when [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] Conradin was out, she decided to [STRIKE]go to[/STRIKE] look in the basement. [STRIKE]and inspect the inside of it.

[/STRIKE][STRIKE]After inspecting, she understood[/STRIKE] She discovered that Conradin was keeping a hen [STRIKE]in this place[/STRIKE] there so she [STRIKE]made up her mind[/STRIKE] decided to catch the hen and sell it [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] at the market.

When Conradin returned home, his cousin [STRIKE]told him that[/STRIKE] said "I know what [STRIKE]are you[/STRIKE] you have been doing in that basement and I want to let you know [STRIKE]I should say[/STRIKE] that I [STRIKE]had[/STRIKE] have sold your hen [STRIKE]in a[/STRIKE] at the market." [STRIKE]and you can't posses it anymore."[/STRIKE]

See above. I have corrected the grammar etc but I can't do anything about the logic. You started off by saying that Conradin was taking part in "all kinds of activities". He wasn't. He had a pet hen.
 

teechar

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That story doesn't make sense. Why should one keep a secret chicken in their basement? :shocked!:
And what kind of weird activities should lead their friend to confiscate the chicken and sell it in the market? ;-)
 

Lumia625

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See above. I have corrected the grammar etc but I can't do anything about the logic. You started off by saying that Conradin was taking part in "all kinds of activities". He wasn't. He had a pet hen.

You are a nice man. I see you always have corrected my mistakes patiently. Thank you teacher.

But I really don't know why do I make too much mistakes! To your mind, do I make more mistakes in words choosing or in the grammar?

Would you mind me sending a message in private?

Oral reproduction of stories is one of our courses in Iran. I choosed a story called "Sredni Vashtar" by "H.H.Munro". Because I had gotten problem just in this part I didn't tell all the story. If you are zealous you can read the whole of it and then you can understand it perfectly.
 

Lumia625

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That story doesn't make sense. Why should one keep a secret chicken in their basement? :shocked!:
And what kind of weird activities should lead their friend to confiscate the chicken and sell it in the market? ;-)

It does not make sense because I didn't tell all of it. The story is named "Sredni Vashtar" by "H.H. Murno". If you read the whole story you can understand it.

As to your question I should clarify that "Conradin" had 2 animals, a hen and a ferret, and he decided to create a new religion in a shed with help of them. So he cloaked them in the shed secretly.

He used to go to that shed everyday and dedicate some nutmeg to his idol (his idol was the ferret) and worship it.
 

emsr2d2

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You are a nice man.
​Thanks, but I'm not a man.

I see you always [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]corrected[/STRIKE] correct my mistakes patiently. Thank you teacher.

But I really don't know why [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] I make [STRIKE]too much[/STRIKE] so many mistakes! [STRIKE]To your mind[/STRIKE] In your opinion, do I make more mistakes in [STRIKE]words choosing[/STRIKE] my choice of words or in the grammar?

Would you mind me sending a private message? [STRIKE]in private?[/STRIKE]
A PM is unnecessary. All comments will appear on the forum so they can help other people too.

Oral reproduction of stories is one of our courses in Iran. I [STRIKE]choosed[/STRIKE] chose a story called "Sredni Vashtar" by (no quotation marks around names) H.H.Munro. Because I had [STRIKE]gotten[/STRIKE] problems just in this part, I didn't tell [STRIKE]all[/STRIKE] the whole story. If you [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]zealous[/STRIKE] want to, you can read the whole [STRIKE]of it[/STRIKE] story and then you can understand it perfectly.

See above.

I read your other post so I understand the gist of the story.

In answer to your main question, and as you can see from my original corrections, you made errors with both word choice and grammar.
 
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