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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Serbo-Croatian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
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    #1

    The Hero's Welcome

    Would you please correct the mistakes in my poem?

    THE HEROíS WELCOME

    They led him around like a captured rare animal.
    The Prime Minister gave him his soft, limp hand.
    Members of Parliament, their wives and daughters,
    Distinguished citizens and scholars,
    Celebrities and sports personalities.
    Well done!
    Great!
    Excellent!

    They patted him, touched his sunburnt face,
    Pulled at his sleeves to see if he were a human.
    Our saviour,
    Achilles,
    The defender of our way of life.

    He stared at the blurred shapes with splendid teeth,
    And did not understand their sophisticated language.

    He was still in that damn desert.
    Praying to God to stay alive.
    Sweating, shaking and trembling,
    Listening to the wailing and howling of his wounded comrades

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
      • American English
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      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
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    #2

    Re: The Hero's Welcome

    I would make a deletion, thus:

    They pulled at his sleeves to see if he was human.

    Otherwise, nothing.

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      • Chinese
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      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
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    #3

    Re: The Hero's Welcome

    damn desert
    "Damn" is a verb. The adjective is "damned".
    I am not a teacher.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
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      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
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    #4

    Re: The Hero's Welcome

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    damn desert
    "Damn" is a verb. The adjective is "damned".
    Actually, "damn" is used that way plenty.

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