need to evaluate my essay

[Tarheel]

Say:

I have written an essay, and I need to have it evaluated.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Some people prefer to attend live performances, while others prefer to stay home and watch those same events on TV.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

As for me, I don't want to have to deal with traffic. I don't want to pay for parking. I don't want to pay for tickets. And I don't want to pay the high prices they change for snacks. I'd rather stay at home and watch TV with my friends. And make my own snacks.

 

[tesoke]

Is there any grammatically error in my essay? If yes, please determine them. Thanks.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Are there any grammatical errors in my essay? If there are, please point them out.

 

[Tarheel]

What I have been doing is I have been rewriting your sentences so that they are phrased in idiomatic English.

I have also been making some suggestions for improvements.

 

[Tarheel]

Do not use phrases like "civil traffic" or "civil problems" that are not English phrases.

For "harsh sound" say "noise".

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

I don't want to have to put up with traffic noise. I get enough of that on the way to work and back.