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  1. demiandi3's Avatar
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    #1

    Smile check my Grammar eror

    i have some trouble with structure and grammar when i was writing these sentence of essay, i hope all of you might to proofread of mine. thanks a lot.

    describe a place that i'm visited (story telling practice)

    When my friend visited to my home last year, we was invite to go sightseeing to fill our holiday. A place that we have not thought before. Yes, Taman Matahari is a tourist attraction that is precise and quite pleasant to unwind, with a variety of games that is close to nature. We had try rafting, cable car, horse riding and games cheaper rates. I and my friend both to the Taman Matahari by public transportation and then we went there by walking. We walked quite a distance from the vehicle stops that took us to the destination. The air is quite cold and rarely vehicles passing by. After almost one and a half hour walk, finally we had find the destination. Long queues which makes us almost desperate to enter the key places of interest. After successfully patience to queue up, we straight away chasing the game's most exciting rides,it is rafting though quite challenging and exciting. But we passed a current that would not be too far away,it is mean the standard level but did not reduce our gratitude due to the place desired is attractions. Once satisfied pose and tried to ride the adrenaline rush of it, we also tried to ride the other, well.. here it was, riding and hanging rail. Rate Rp. 15,000 nearly all of the rides can be enjoyed free of charge except Water Park. Stone encrusted streets are laid out in such a way that we passed the advanced track. The road is located on the banks of a small river where the water rushing. Medium grove of trees decorate to bring shade and shade for visitors passing underneath. Before long we were there. Once satisfied around the sights then we dropped at a location close to the Children's Adventure Park. The rides were a game of water using a duck-shaped water bicycles devoted to children. Air balloon rides on surface of water rolling into is our next destination. We particularly enjoyed the rides. Next, we moved toward Duren Field for a brief rest. The location was just a field covered with small rocks with trees that decorate in circumference. As usual in every field, some vendors of food and drinks seem visible there to allow visitors to buy food or drinks. We also soon filled a dry throat with buy cold drinks and ice cream. It feels fresh after consumption ice cream when his scorching that day.

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    #2

    Re: check my Grammar eror

    I have some trouble with structure and grammar when I was writing these sentence of this essay. I hope all of you might to someone would proofread of mine the essay for me. Thanks a lot.

    Describe a place that i'm I have visited (story-telling practice)
    When is the essay due to be submitted to your teacher?
    I am not a teacher.

  2. demiandi3's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: check my Grammar eror

    thanks a lot " tedmc" for help and respond quickly.

    immediately...
    But I still have 2 more weeks to hand over this task.
    i hope you can help me , because im weak in English

    nice to talk with you.

  3. demiandi3's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: check my Grammar eror

    hi tedmc, when did you come back to proofread my essay again? im waiting :)
    thanks a lot

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: check my Grammar eror

    Let's start with the title. Say:

    Correct my errors

    Then say:

    I had some trouble with structure and grammar when I was writing this essay. I hope somebody wiil proofread it for me.

    That's all I can help you with right now. We are not supposed to help people with their homework.

    It might help if you read some of the other essays that have been posted here, and note the corrections, suggestions, and advice.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: check my Grammar eror

    Say:

    Thanks a lot tedmc for your help and for responding so quickly.

    Also, say:

    Tedmc, when will you come back to proofread my essay some more?

    Neither of us commented on thr essay itself. Your teacher wants to see your work, not ours.

  6. demiandi3's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: check my Grammar eror

    actually, this is not for my teacher, it is just for practice and then i will send to my friend in course to be review.
    please friends i counting on you all.

    please, this is why here i'am ,,keep forum

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: check my Grammar eror

    You write essays for the fun of it?

    I can tell you a couple of things. Capitalize the word that begins a sentence. Also, end a sentence with a period, not a comma.

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: check my Grammar eror

    Say:

    Actually, this is not for my teacher. It is just for practice.

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    #10

    Re: check my Grammar eror

    demiandi3,

    Did you do the translation yourself? It looks like something Google Translate might produce.

    If it is the result of machine translation, please throw it away and begin again. Don't use machine translation.

    Good luck!
    I am not a teacher.

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