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  1. DrBlueThumb's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: Aug 2015
    • Posts: 62
    #1

    Help with sentence, paragraph, coherence and editing etc

    I'm trying to explain to a agriculture company to hire me as either a apprenticeship, grower, general laborour, based on my experience as a grower and propagator of salt water reef organisms. I'm a little eccentric and have a autism, here it is:

    Resume:

    Hobby/Trader:

    Successfullyestablished and ran over ten tropical salt water reef ecosystems. Specializedin the aquaculture and trade of shallow to middle reef organisms such as exoticcorals ranging from softies, small solyp stonies to large polyp stonies. Alsocultured copepods, phytoplankton and sponges. Built systems by plumbing,lighting and using carpentry skills. Grew wild collected corals, propagated themto turn them into aqua-cultured organisms more adaptable to a closed artificialreef system environment. Took pictures, posted them onto the internet, shippedthem through the mail or traded them directly from my house or met up with myclients in-person to conduct the trade transaction.


    Part of my cover letter:


    Aquaculturing also known as aquafarming, is what I wasresponsible for when I farmed marine aquatic

    organisms such as sponges, copepods, phytoplankton and corals.One of the most complexed and

    diversed ecosystems on the planet happen to be coral reefs,only rivaled by the amazon rainforest.

    During my twelve years of setting up, cycling andestablishing coral reefs within my home aquariums,

    Iíve learned that setting up your salt water reef aquariumcorrectly to begin with, great husbandry and

    maintaining equilibrium of proper lighting, water flow,feeding strategies and water chemistry, is key to

    a healthy crop so that you will have a fantastic harvest. One type of organism that I farmedwere corals,

    corals are farmed by coral farmers, which is also known as coral gardening. Thefarming of corals is used

    for conservation, income, and by scientists for research. Businessesand private aquarium hobbyists also

    use coral farming for the supply of live ornamental coraltrade. When I farmed corals I would buy them

    from a retailer then acclimate them in my reef aquariumwhere I would then grow them out to a larger

    size. Then I wouldslice 75% of the bought crop of corals up with the precision of a medicalsurgeon of

    1 coral into 4 to 8pieces. From there I would grow thecuttings into adulthood and trade 75% of them.

    Before you know it, I would have a whole flourishing diversecrop of different types, colour and patterns

    of corals within my reef aquarium ready to grow out andpropagate even more. Itís like a cycle, like

    empire building, likea tree that always needs pruning, like trading apples for oranges, apples for

    potatoes, potatoesfor wheat, and so on, like the good olddays. This cycle cost just a small investment





  2. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #2

    Re: Help with sentence, paragraph, coherence and editing etc

    Hobby trader:

    - Successfully established and ran over ten tropical salt-water reef ecosystems.
    - Specialized in the aquaculture and trade of shallow to middle reef organisms such as exotic corals ranging from softies, small polyp stonies to large polyp stonies.
    - Cultured copepods, phytoplankton and sponges.
    - Built aquarium systems by including the plumbing, lighting and using carpentry skills.
    - Grew wild-collected corals and propagated them to turn them into aqua-cultured organisms more adaptable to a closed artificial reef system environment.
    - Took pictures, posted them onto the Internet, shipped them through the by mail, or traded them directly from my house or met up with my clients in person to conduct the trade transaction.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Aquaculture, also known as aqua farming, is what I was responsible for when I farmed marine aquatic organisms such as sponges, copepods, phytoplankton and corals. One of the most complex ed and diverse ecosystems on the planet happens to be coral reefs, only rivaled by the amazon rainforest.

    During my twelve years of setting up, cycling and establishing coral reefs within my home aquariums, Iíve learned that setting up your salt-water reef aquarium correctly to begin with, following proper great husbandry and maintaining equilibrium of proper lighting, water flow, feeding strategies and water chemistry is key to a healthy crop. so that you will have a fantastic harvest. One type of organism that I farmed were corals.

    corals are farmed by coral farmers, which is also known as coral gardening.
    The farming, or gardening as it is also known, of corals is used for conservation, business, income, and by scientists for research. Businesses and private aquarium hobbyists also use coral farming for the to supply of the live ornamental coral trade. When I farmed corals, I would buy them from a retailer, then acclimate them in my reef aquarium where I would then grow them out to a larger size. Then I would slice 75% of the bought crop of corals up with the precision of a medical surgeon of 1 coral into 4 to 8 pieces each. From there, I would grow the cuttings into adulthood and trade 75% of them.

    Before long, you know it, I would have a whole flourishing diverse crop of different types, colours and patterns of corals within my reef aquarium ready to grow out and propagate even more. Itís like a cycle; like empire building; like a tree that always needs pruning. , like trading apples for oranges, apples for potatoes, potatoesfor wheat, and so on, like the good olddays. This cycle cost requires just a small investment.

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