While I was serving at the police station/somebody was breaking in a jewelry store

[z7655431]

While I was serving at the police station on Sunday night, I received a call saying that somebody was breaking in a jewelry store on the 15[SUP]th[/SUP] Street at the moment.
-Is this sentence correct? I think the red parts I marked are wrong. How should I revise them?

 

[Rover_KE]

Once again, do not flood the forum with unanswered questions.

Are you asking us to do your homework with these endless questions?

 

[z7655431]

Once again, do not flood the forum with unanswered questions.

Are you asking us to do your homework with these endless questions?

These are Not my homework. These are sentences that I found a little odd from my teacher's handout. I just want to conform what's the correct way of saying them. As what I said, my teacher is NOT an English native speaker, so there might be some mistakes in her handout. When I questioned her, she usually didn't think she is wrong, so the only way that I could solve all my questions is to post them here. I'm not kind of bored to ask you all to do my homework for me. I just want to learn the most correct English!

 

[bhaisahab]

"While I was serving at the police station on Sunday night, I received a call saying that somebody was breaking into a jewelry store on 15[SUP]th[/SUP] Street."

The red parts are almost OK, "in" should be "into". There were, however, some other problems, "the" is not needed before "15th Street", and "at the moment" is not necessary at the end.

 

[z7655431]

While I was serving at the police station on Sunday night...
Does anybody think the red part here is a little odd? For me, I think that it should be I was on duties at the police station. "I was serving at the police station" sounds odd to me although I'm not an English native speaker.

 

[GoesStation]

I can imagine that serving at the police station might be standard usage in some dialects, but I've never seen it. You can write "I was on duty" but not "on duties."