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    #1

    Could you please accentuate the key area to improve my writing skills

    A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.
    Discuss both views and give your opinion.

    ================================================== ==================================

    Since ages, people are using animals for transportation, food and research purposes. While some people have animadversion against usage of animals for various objectives, others expostulate with them. They believe in the contribution of animals for human needs and I concur. In my opinion, it is imperative to make use of animals for house-hold activities because they are designed by nature to perform these tasks effectively.

    To begin with, harsh treatment of animals is ubiquitous all over the world. More often than not, animals are exploited for various reasons. For instance, in countries such as India, people use donkeys to deliver goods to supermarkets. It is not uncommon for the people in India to smack a donkey in order to make him run faster during the delivery of goods. These attitudes by humans towards animals are uncompromising as the animals are unable to speak for their rights.

    Despite the above arguments, in my view, animals are playing a vital role to provide effectiveness and smoothness on day to day transactions of human beings. They are playing an essential part to provide different services in a very cost effective and efficient manner. For example, in countries such as Australia, people like to keep dogs as pets because they are extremely handy to offer services of a night-watchman. It reduces the cost of hiring a security guard for a common man in Australia. Services such as these are vital for our society.

    In conclusion, I believe that it is important to take advantages of animals in our daily basis work. In near future, I envisage a trend of using animals more and more for routine work by people.

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Could you please accentuate the key area to improve my writing skills

    Say:

    For ages people have been using animals...

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Could you please accentuate the key area to improve my writing skills

    I would use "purposes" instead of ""objectives", (Second sentence.)

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Could you please accentuate the key area to improve my writing skills

    They believe in using animals for human needs.

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    #5

    Re: Could you please accentuate the key area to improve my writing skills

    Many thanks for the replies.

    1) I have understood that there is a grammatical mistake in the following sentence. Thanks for the correction.
    Instead of using "present continuous tense", I should have used "present perfect continuous tense"


    2) I used the word "objectives" instead of "purposes" (Second sentence) because I had used the word "purposes" in first sentence.(i.e. "for transportation, food and research purposes."
    I wittingly used this word in order to avoid repetition. Please advise.


    3) Same is the case as described in point 2. I avoided the word "using". I stated the word "contribution" to avoid the word "using".
    Please advise .


    Bundles of thanks,

    Regards,
    Anas Jamil

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Could you please accentuate the key area to improve my writing skills

    You don't have to avoid using a word just because you have used it before. You might make the wrong choice because you follow that rule.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Could you please accentuate the key area to improve my writing skills

    Say:

    I understand that there is a grammatical mistake in the following sentence.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Could you please accentuate the key area to improve my writing skills

    Do you know that "understood" is past tense and that if you say you understood something you could very well be saying that you don't understand it anymore?

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    #9

    Re: Could you please accentuate the key area to improve my writing skills

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Do you know that "understood" is past tense and that if you say you understood something you could very well be saying that you don't understand it anymore?

    I understand

    I have posted another essay. Whenever you are free, please comment on the essay. I would appreciate your valuable comments in this regard.

    Regards,
    Anas Jamil

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    #10

    Re: Could you please accentuate the key area to improve my writing skills

    In my opinion, this essay would get a fail mark. You need to learn how to plan and structure your response before you start writing the actual essay.

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