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    #1

    IELTS exam preparation: Essay Correction with feedback please

    Essay Title: 'As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people traveling, there is a growing demand for more flights. What problems does this have on the environment? What measures could be taken to solve these problems ?'

    Tourism is one of the many vastly developing industries today, with more destinations becoming available to tourists allowing them to literally reach any corner of the world. This is in part to the inventions of modern technology, namely the airplane. As much as the advantages that air travel has to offer, it does have it's consequences, particularly on the environment.

    With more people resorting to airline travel, this leads to large volumes of gaseous emissions from jet engines, owing to the copious amount of fuel required for each aircraft. These harmful gases would contribute to the 'greenhouse effect', by forming a blanket above the Earth's atmosphere and trapping the ultraviolet radiation of the Sun. Furthermore, more destinations and aircraft would mean that airports would have to expand to cope with the demand such as having more terminals or runways. This could result local forests or land giving way for airport expansion, which can have a detrimental effect towards local wildlife and their habitats. This is of particular issue especially to many activists who do not support the expansion of airports. Not only animals, but humans can also be affected by this issue. Certain towns are located near airports and by having more flights to a particular area, the noise levels would rise and would add to sound pollution. This can affect the elderly living in such areas. Thus, there are numerous issues at concern relating to the environment regarding the proposition of more air travel.

    In order to tackle this, certain solutions could potentially put into place. One way would be to discourage people from frequently resorting to air travel. This could be achieved through various methods such as increasing the cost of air travel by means of fuel taxes, carbon taxes and airport taxes. In addition, airports can also help by limiting the number of destinations available from a particular place. This would mean that there would be a less likelihood of airport expansion, which would benefit many locals and conservationists. Another method would be to promote tourism of various local places through means of media such as internet, television and radio. This can indirectly divert people from using air travel and allow alternative methods of transportation to be used. As well as promoting such places, reducing the costs of attractions in a particular area would also draw more tourists.

    In conclusion, it is clear that there are problems and possible answers to them however, careful thought and implementation are the key strategies that one should consider before bringing about a change because tourism should have a positive impact on both the environment and airline industry.

  1. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: IELTS exam preparation: Essay Correction with feedback please

    Quote Originally Posted by drrajeevhariprakash View Post
    Tourism is one of the many vastly developing major industries for many countries today, with more destinations becoming available to tourists allowing them to literally reach any corner of the world. This is in part due to the increasing access to cheap air travel.inventions of modern technology, namely the airplane. As much as Despite the advantages that air travel has to offer, it does have its challenges and impacts consequences, particularly on the environment.

    With more people resorting to using air line travel, this leads to large volumes increasing levels of gaseous greenhouse gas emissions from jet engines, owing to the copious amount of fuel required for each aircraft, are being released into the atmosphere. These harmful gases would contribute to the 'greenhouse effect', by forming form a blanket above the Earth's atmosphere and trapping the ultraviolet radiation of the Sun. Furthermore, more destinations and aircraft would mean that airports would have to expand to cope with the demand such as having by constructing more terminals or and runways. This could result in local forests or land giving way for airport expansion, which can have a detrimental effect towards on local wildlife and their habitats. This is of particular issue especially to many activists who do not support the expansion of airports. Not only animals, but humans can also be affected by this issue. Certain towns are located near airports and by having more flights to over a particular area, the noise levels would rise and would add to sound pollution. This can affect the elderly living in such areas. Thus, there are numerous environmental issues at concern relating to the environment regarding the proposition of more associated with increased air travel.

    In order to tackle this, certain solutions could be applied. potentially put into place. One way would be to discourage people from frequently resorting to air travel. This could be achieved through various methods such as increasing the cost of air travel by means of fuel taxes, carbon taxes and airport taxes. In addition, airports can also be located away from heavily populated areas or areas of ecological importance.help by limiting the number of destinations available from a particular place. This would mean that there would be less noise pollution or habitat destruction, likelihood of airport expansion, which would benefit many locals and conservationists. Another method approach would be to promote tourism of in various local places. through means of media such as internet, television and radio. This can indirectly divert people from using air travel and allow encourage alternative methods of transportation to be used. As well as promoting such places, reducing the costs of attractions in a particular area would also draw more tourists.

    In conclusion, it is clear that there are problems and possible answers to them however, careful thought and implementation are the key strategies that one should consider before bringing about a change because tourism should have a positive impact on both the environment and airline industry.
    Your conclusion does not summarize the main findings and is off topic.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: IELTS exam preparation: Essay Correction with feedback please

    Two things. I never seen Thomas Sowell or Walter Williams (or anybody else) use "In conclusion" in one of their columns. Before I would use the term "resort to" I would make sure I know what it means.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: IELTS exam preparation: Essay Correction with feedback please

    Two things. First, what have you learned from Teechar's corrections? Second, say:

    What effect does this have on the environment?

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