Can you please have a look at my resume?

[Lloyd Christmas]

Dear all,

I have been rewriting my résumé in English and I'd really like to get it corrected by a native speaker. Could you please help me?

I did not know how to translate my function name for my first and third experience. The exact translation is "management controller" but I feel like this is not really used, so I chose "Financial controller" (or "financial analyst ?).

Anyway, feel free to make any comment, even "professional" comments.

Thank you!


Work experience

IT and Back Office perimeters financial controller
· Analyzed and tracked costs of IT and Back Office perimeters (monthly reports)
· Controlled expenses and internal invoicing process
· Analyzed and corrected discrepancies between different accounting systems
· Analyzed and calculated monthly variations for IT perimeter accruals
· Coordinated actual and forecast processes in collaboration with IT budget department

Business analyst
Internship
· Analyzed and tracked global sales (daily, weekly and monthly reports)
· Prepared new semester offer (took part in models choice for store clusters, made presentations)
· Allocated models to commercial areas (Europe, Asia, US, ….) on a weekly basis
· Supported sales team: sent and received models, performed occasional studies

Capital Markets financial controller
Internship
· Made monthly reports and set up annual budget for two product lines of FIM (fixed incomes market)
· Analyzed monthly direct costs for all product lines of FIM
· Maintained and improved direct costs forecast tools for all product lines of FIM

Sport shoes salesman
part-time job (Saturday, Sunday)
· Attended and sold to local and foreign customers (in English, Spanish)
· Managed sales areas and items layout

General Employee
Supermarket (cash desk, cleaning sales area, stock management), part-time job (20 hours a week)

Assistant order management
Internship
· Received and input orders from customers and solved orders-related problems
· Set up and provided a daily report about orders’ state (late delivery, blockage, …)

Education

2014 Master in corporate finance in xxx Business School
2012 - 2013: exchange student in xxx University

2009 Preparatory school for the entrance exam for French Business Schools in xxx, France

Education

Languages
French Mother tongue
English fluent (TOEIC: 908/1000; TOEFL: 96/120)
Spanish fluent

IT skills Mastering of Microsoft office (Word, Power Point, Excel, Outlook), SAP, Essbase, CCMX, Python

Extra curricular-activities

Treasurer, xxx
The xxx Business school book and tie-in store (annual revenue: €14k)

Football Practiced during 10 years to a French regional level

 

[Lloyd Christmas]

Hi,

I know it is a very long post so do not worry, I'll corect it another way.

Can you just tell me if my personal information part is fine? I actually do not like to put my exact home address but I need recruiters to know I am in my home country, so I was thinking about this:

Name
e-mail address
Phone number
Driver's license
French (currently living in France)

Is this an acceptable and correct to way to say I am l living abroad?

Thank you and have a good day

 

[teechar]

Dear all,

I have been rewriting my résumé in English, and I'd really like to get it corrected by a native speaker. Could you please help me?

I did not know how to translate [STRIKE]my function name[/STRIKE] the job titles for my first and third jobs. [STRIKE]experience.[/STRIKE] The exact translation is "management controller", but I feel like this is not really used, so should I [STRIKE]chose[/STRIKE] use "Financial controller" or "financial analyst?"

Anyway, feel free to make any comment. [STRIKE], even "professional" comments.[/STRIKE]

Thank you!


Work experience

IT and Back-Office [STRIKE]perimeters[/STRIKE] Financial Analyst & Controller
· Analyzed and tracked [STRIKE]costs of[/STRIKE] IT and Back-Office expenditure and produced monthly reports. [STRIKE]perimeters (monthly reports)[/STRIKE]
· Controlled expenses and internal invoicing processes.
· Analyzed and corrected discrepancies between different accounting systems.
· Analyzed and calculated monthly variations for IT perimeter accruals.
· Coordinated actual and forecast processes in collaboration with IT budget department.

Business Analyst
Internship
· Analyzed and tracked global sales and produced daily, weekly and monthly reports.
· Prepared new semester offer and took part in models choice for store clusters and [STRIKE]made[/STRIKE] gave presentations.
· Allocated models to commercial areas (Europe, Asia, US, ….) on a weekly basis.
· Supported sales team: sent and received models, and performed occasional studies.

Capital-Markets Financial Controller
Internship
· Made monthly reports and set up annual budget for two product lines of FIM (fixed incomes market).
· Analyzed monthly direct costs for all product lines of FIM.
· Maintained and improved direct costs forecast tools for all product lines of FIM.

Sport-Shoes Salesman
part-time job (Saturday, Sunday)
· [STRIKE]Attended and[/STRIKE] Sold shoes to local and foreign (mainly Spanish and English) customers. [STRIKE](in English, Spanish)[/STRIKE]
· Managed sales areas and items layout.

[STRIKE]General Employee[/STRIKE]
Supermarket Assistant (cash desk, cleaning sales area, stock management), part-time job (20 hours a week).

Assistant, Order Management
Internship
· Received and [STRIKE]input[/STRIKE] processed customer orders [STRIKE]from customers[/STRIKE] and solved orders-related problems.
· Set up and provided a daily report about orders’ state (late delivery, blockage, ... etc.)

Education

2014 Master in Corporate Finance - [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] xxx Business School
2012 - 2013: exchange student in xxx University

2009 Preparatory school for the entrance exam for French Business Schools in xxx, France

[STRIKE]Education
[/STRIKE]

Languages
French: Mother tongue
English: Fluent (TOEIC: 908/1000; TOEFL: 96/120)
Spanish: Fluent

IT skills: [STRIKE]Mastering of[/STRIKE]
Solid experience in Microsoft office (Word, Power Point, Excel, Outlook), SAP, Essbase, CCMX, Python

Extra curricular-activities
Treasurer, xxx
The xxx Business School book and tie-in store (annual revenue: €14k)

[STRIKE]Football Practiced during[/STRIKE] Played football for 10 years [STRIKE]to a[/STRIKE] at the French regional level

I could not understand the text highlighted in red.
I also think you should mention the dates and names of the places you worked in.

 

[teechar]

I am in my home country

I am l living abroad

Which one? ;-)

 

[Lloyd Christmas]

Thank you so much Teechar, that really helps me a lot.

I could not understand the text highlighted in red.

Ok, I will try to explain better. Other sentences I wrote were confusing too so I will explain too:

IT and Back-Office [STRIKE]perimeters[/STRIKE] Financial Analyst & Controller

I was not working in the IT and Back-Office departments but I was in charge of controlling their expenditures, by working within the Finance department. I just want to make sure this is what you understood since what I wrote in the first place was actually confusing.

By the way, I found "management accountant" on the internet; based on my jobs descriptions, is it better than "financial analyst"?

· Analyzed and calculated monthly variations for IT perimeter accruals

Maybe "department" is a better word?

· Prepared new semester offer and took part in models choice for store clusters and [STRIKE]made[/STRIKE] gave presentations.

I actually removed "Watches and Jewelry department" in my job title, which made it confusing.

- New semester: The company was changing its offer for the upcoming semester so I was in charge of preparing this new offer.
- Models choice: I chose what models (i.e watches, rings, ...etc) each store clusters was going to offer.
- [STRIKE]Made[/STRIKE]gave presentations: I actually only made powerpoint presentation I sent to people; should I keep "made"?

· Allocated models to commercial areas (Europe, Asia, US, ….) on a weekly basis.

I was in charge of choosing which "commercial area" in the world (maybe "sales area" is better?) was going to receive models (i.e watches for instance; maybe "pieces" is a better wod in that case). For instance, I had a stock of 10 wtaches and I supposed to "divide" them between those commercial areas.

· Supported sales team: sent and received models, and performed occasional studies.

Should I use "pieces"?

· [STRIKE]Attended and[/STRIKE] Sold shoes to local and foreign (mainly Spanish and English) customers. [STRIKE](in English, Spanish)[/STRIKE]

I actually meant I was selling to those customers by talking to them in English or in Spanish (they were not specifically Spanish or English).

· Received and [STRIKE]input[/STRIKE] processed customer orders [STRIKE]from customers[/STRIKE] and solved orders-relatedproblems.

I think my sentence was confusing. I did not deal with those orders in a physical way, but I just entered them in SAP software. Should I use "enter"?

The xxx Business School book and tie-in store(annual revenue: €14k)

The store was actually selling scholar books (because it was in a business school) but it was also selling items like t-shirts, glasses, ... with the Business School's logo, which I tought were called 'tie-in products".

I also think you should mention the dates and names of the places you worked in.

Thank you, I actually removed those details when I pasted the text from my résumé.

Which one?

My bad, that was really confusing. I meant "I am living in my home country", wich means "I am living abroad from the recruiter's point of view".

Anyway, thank you again for your correction.

 

[teechar]

"IT and Back-Office Analyst & Controller" is OK as a title for that job.

"Analyzed and calculated monthly variations for IT department accruals."

"Prepared new season offers and selected appropriate product models for store branches, as well as made product promotion presentations."

"Allocated product models to commercial areas (Europe, Asia, US, ….) on a weekly basis."

"Supported sales team: sent and received product models, and conducted some research. " [STRIKE]performed occasional studies.[/STRIKE]

"Sold shoes to locals and to foreign customers with whom I communicated mainly in English and Spanish."

"Entered customer order details into our SAP software, and resolved order-related problems."

"The XXX Business School bookstore which also sold souvenirs and other school paraphernalia."

Finally, if you don't wish to include your full home address in your résumé, you can use a postal address if you have one, or you can just put the name of the city and country.

 

[Lloyd Christmas]

Hi Teechar,

Great, thank you for your help :-D

Have a good day

 

[Tarheel]

We do call those things you mentioned "tie-ins". Also, you would give, present, or deliver a power point presentation. (You're probably supposed to capitalize "Power Point".)