IELTS Essay Correction Help Please!!

[drrajeevhariprakash]

Hi everyone,

It's Dr Rajeev again. As I did previously, I'm submitting another essay in order for IELTS preparation. Once again, I thank any teacher/person who takes their precious time to correct my essay(s) and I would also value your tips/suggestions! It would also be useful if you could give my essay the appropriate band score as well. :) Thank you!!

Essay Title: An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online?

The internet has become very sophisticated in our modern society today owing to the vast number of features that it has to offer, in particular, online shopping. Nowadays, many people and business firms are beginning to resort to online shopping of their goods.

Using the internet to buy products does have it's benefits. People can access from anywhere because all they would require is a laptop, personal device or computer with an internet connection. With a click of a button, purchasing can be made very simple. This feature is particularly helpful especially for disabled people and the elderly as well as those who live in remote areas. Online shopping also provides customers with a greater variety as to what they can choose and they can also compare with similar products. Some stores many not have many choices with respect to a particular product therefore, the opportunity to select over a wide range of products is an advantage to both customers and companies. In addition, companies can also benefit from online sales in that they can send numerous coupons or sales promotions whenever people purchase online. Thus, this incentive will not only attract more customers but increase profits for companies as well.

Despite the numerous positive features that online shopping has to offer, it does have it's flaws. One set back that is of major concern is security. When people provide their financial details, there is no guarantee as to what could happen if such information were to fall in wrong hands. Another disadvantage is related to the authenticity of a product. What customers see on on a website may be completely different to the actual product. Furthermore, if the goods purchased online were damaged, the refunding procedures would be delayed and this would create problems for people and companies. Shipping itself is another issue related to online shopping. In most cases, the product that we order online has to be transported from a distant location to a local warehouse before it is delivered to us. Hence, extra shipping charges have to be paid which could be expensive and this factor can have a negative impact on customers, steering them away from purchasing items online. As well as increased shipping rates, the time taken for a given product to arrive is also affected since it would be delayed. This is may prove to be a issue particularly for many businesses who function based on deadlines and specific targets and even for people if they are impatient.

On the whole, the trend of online shopping is gaining in popularity on a daily basis despite the disadvantages that it poses. Prior to purchasing a product on the internet, it would be prudent to do some background research before going to buy an item online.

[GoesStation]

I don't have time to read the essay right now, but just scrolling through it, I spotted "it's" where you wanted the possessive pronoun "its".

[tedmc]

An increasing number of More people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online?

The internet has become very sophisticated in our modern society today owing towith the vast number of features that it has to offers, in particular, online shopping. Nowadays, many people and business firms are beginning to resort turn to online shopping of their goods.

Using the internet to buy products does have it's its benefits. People can access the internet from anywhere because all they would require is a laptop, personal device or computer with an internet connection. With a click of a button, purchasing can be made very simple. This feature is particularly helpful especially for disabled people and the elderly as well as those who live in remote areas. Online shopping also provides customers with a greater variety as to what they can choose of choices and they can also compare with similar products make comparisons. Some stores many not have many choices with respect to of a particular product, therefore, the opportunity to select over from a wide range of products is an advantage to both customers and companies. In addition, companies can also benefit from online sales in that they can gain publicity by sending numerous follow-up coupons or sales promotions whenever people purchase online. Thus, this incentive feature will not only attract more customers but increase profits for companies as well.

Despite the numerous positive features that online shopping has to offer, it does have it's its flaws. One set back setback that is of major concern is security. When people provide their financial details, there is no guarantee as to what could happen if such information were to fall into wrong hands. Another disadvantage is related to the authenticity of a product. What customers see on on a website may be completely different to the actual product. Furthermore, if the goods purchased online were damaged, the refunding procedures would be delayed tedious and this would create problems for people and companies. Shipping itself is another issue related to online shopping. In most cases, the product that we order online has to be transported from a distant location to a local warehouse before it is delivered to us. Hence, extra shipping charges have to be paid, which could be expensive and this factor can have a negative impact on discourage customers, steering them away from purchasing items online. As well as increased shipping rates, the time taken for a given product to arrive is also affected since it would be delayed at its destination tends to be longer. This is may prove to be a issue particularly for many businesses who which function based on deadlines and specific targets and even for people if they who are impatient.

On the whole, the trend of online shopping is gaining in popularity on a daily basis despite the disadvantages that it poses. Prior to purchasing a product on the internet, it would be prudent for the buyer to do some background research before going to buy an item online.