Help me to clear this letter

[sanjfer]

[FONT=&quot]I want to write a letter to the employer who offered me a job offer. I rejected his offer because of low salary offer. But I decided to accept his offer- please see the letter below and clear if any mistakes.

Dear Sir,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]This is in reference to my interview with you few months ago orthe position in HR and subsequent joboffer extended by you. My name is John. Initially,I had rejected your offer as the salary you promised me is lower than I anticipatedsince I have had extensive experience in all aspects of the Human Resource andoffice Administration. However, considering the current financial crises in theMiddle East economy and the difficulty to find a job in the job market, afterconsiderable thought, I do want to accept this position you offered me if the positionis still remained vacant. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Kindly look into this matter and revert me back with your suggestions.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I am waiting a favourable response from you soon.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Sincerely, [/FONT]

 

[emsr2d2]

I want to write a letter to the employer who offered me a job. [STRIKE]offer.[/STRIKE] Initially, I rejected his offer because of the low salary offered but I have now decided to accept [STRIKE]his offer-[/STRIKE] the job. Please see the letter below and [STRIKE]clear[/STRIKE] correct [STRIKE]if[/STRIKE] any mistakes.

Dear Sir,

This is in reference to my interview with you [STRIKE]a few months ago[/STRIKE] on [date of interview] for (space required here) the position in HR and your subsequent job (space required here) offer. [STRIKE]extended by you.[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]My name is John.[/STRIKE] Initially, (space required here) I [STRIKE]had[/STRIKE] rejected [STRIKE]your offer[/STRIKE] the job as the salary you [STRIKE]promised[/STRIKE] offered me [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] was lower than I had anticipated. [STRIKE]since[/STRIKE]

I have [STRIKE]had[/STRIKE] extensive experience in all aspects of [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] Human Resource and (space required here) Office Administration. However, considering the current financial crises in the (space required here) Middle East economy and the difficulty [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] of finding a job in the job market, after (space required here) considerable thought, I [STRIKE]do want[/STRIKE] would like to accept [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] the position [STRIKE]you offered me[/STRIKE] if [STRIKE]the position[/STRIKE] it is still [STRIKE]remained[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]vacant[/STRIKE] open.

[STRIKE]Kindly look into this matter and revert me back with your suggestions.[/STRIKE]

[STRIKE]I am waiting a favourable response from you soon.[/STRIKE]

I look forward to hearing from you.

[STRIKE]Sincerely, [/STRIKE]
Yours faithfully

[Your full name]

See above. Note that if you start a letter with "Dear Sir", "Dear Madam" or "Dear Sir/Madam", you need to end with "Yours faithfully". If you start with "Dear Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms [surname]", you end with "Yours sincerely". Given that the person in question offered you a job, I am pretty certain you know his name. I suggest you use it.

In my opinion, it's very unlikely that a job you were offered "a few months ago" will still be available.

It's very odd to write "My name is John" in the middle of a paragraph. Write your name in full at the end of the letter.

Also, I would write the exact job title instead of "the position in HR". They might have had several job vacancies in HR at that time. You need to be much more specific.

I would omit the entire section about the crisis in the economy or the difficulty in finding in job - it makes it look as if you are only trying to accept the job offer because you're desperate!

 

[sanjfer]

Thank you very much sir !!

 

[emsr2d2]

Thank you very much Sir. [strike]!![/strike]

1. Do not refer to users here as "Sir". It is unnecessary formal and we are not all male.
2. There is no need to write a new post to say "Thank you". Simply click on the "Thank" button in the bottom left-hand corner of any post you find helpful.

 

[teechar]

and we are not all female.

I suppose emsr2d2 meant to write "not all male" instead.

 

[emsr2d2]

I did indeed! I've fixed it. Thanks.