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    #1

    Please look over my eassy ? (TOEFL)

    Has the ease of cooking improved life?
    Everyone expects improved life, all activity runs oriented to improvement. In my view, cooking improved human's lifestyle. I feel this because of developed cooking system give healthy life, more family inter-relation, more contribution, which I will explore in the following easy.


    To the beginning, developed cuisine tool encourage people to make food in home. Most of case, people depended on fast foods which are spicy and pungent in test. Foods prepared in the hotel are contained much fat and more possibility of contamination, this food has harmful impact on health. As a result majority people have obesity problem and heart disease because of consuming extend amount of cholesterol. When the food is prepared in home, people are careful about this issue.Moreover, make food in home with easy cooking encourage people to cook in home. This influence reduce the cost of food.


    Secondly, the ease of cooking brings relationship between family members. In past, people thought to take meal in restaurant so that family members have less possibility to communicate each other. Good communication is a essential factor of strong relationship. My father now come back from office during launch time. Before i can meet him at the morning taking preparing for office and at night; so tired and not time to talk. Time has changed with improvement of cuisine tools, contribution of scientific revolution. Furthermore, my family member fully depend on my mother which is now the role maker.


    Finally, recent method of preparing food being easy gives people extra time to work in other field. Before it couldn't think up to carry on other job with after providing meal service in family. So the contribution of the huge number of woman who are mainly did it before. Male is now also eager to cook food in house because of comfortable system. So female also get more time to work in other organization. The old system of cooking; make fire and cook food now
    hardly found.


    To sum up, progressed food making process really brings ease in people daily life where traditional old method suffered people a lot. I strongly believe that by reconnecting family bond, it helps people keep their body fit and to contribute their time in other purposes.

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Please look over my eassy ? (TOEFL)

    It might be a good idea to learn how to spell "essay" properly.

    The first sentence is good. Is it yours or somebody else's?

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Please look over my eassy ? (TOEFL)

    Perhaps:

    Have modern cooking methods improved life for ordinary people?

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Please look over my eassy ? (TOEFL)

    What are you trying to say? Perhaps:

    Everyone wants a better life.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Please look over my eassy ? (TOEFL)

    Say:

    In my view, modern cooking methods have improved the lives of ordinary people.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Please look over my eassy ? (TOEFL)

    Your paragraphs are not excessively long. That's good.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Please look over my eassy ? (TOEFL)

    People have more leisure time because it doesn't take as long to cook their food.

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Please look over my eassy ? (TOEFL)

    Second paragraph.

    In the beginning, all food preparation was done at home.

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: Please look over my eassy ? (TOEFL)

    P2

    When the food is prepared at home people are careful about what?

  9. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: Please look over my eassy ? (TOEFL)

    P2

    I don't know what you are talking about here. Fast food is a fairly recent development. What are you trying to say?

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