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    #1

    Question IELTS Writing Task 2 - Support by correcting an essay

    Hello, dear friends of UsingEnglish,
    I am new to the forum and I came aiming to develop a little my essay skills.
    I am preparing myself for the IELTS exam and I am still unsure about the writing tasks.

    I wonder, if any of you could give me some feedback or ideas for improving them.
    I let an example I have done this week.

    Thank you in advance :)

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

    Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

    Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

    Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
    You should write at least 250 words:

    The issue of educating a child has always been a relevant topic in the society. In terms of developing the sense of competition, there are several people who support this, while others complain that children should be taught cooperating instead of competition. This essay outlines the main points from each view and suggests a proper approach to the problem.

    A great amount of people agrees with the necessity of developing competitive feelings in children. Their main reason is the motivation it brings to the kids, what facilitates the reach of further goals. One can notice, for instance, the relevance of starting early at several fields, such as sport and science – José Arantes do Nascimento, also known as Pelé, started kicking balls against his fellows at the age of 6. In addition to it, the recognition by winning or the tears by losing challenges brings relevant social skills to the children – such as fortitude and decision-making; these will be kept for their whole personal and professional life.

    On other hand, some people consider the sense of competition damaging to the kids. They support the view of cooperating and advocate this can make better adults in the future. The argument is based on the assumption that throughout our life we work in teams – from pre-school, to professional career and family formation.
    Furthermore, they believe competition motivates the aggressiveness between children, turning the process of socializing harder and less natural between young peers.
    In my opinion, both senses – competition and cooperating – should be developed in children. I believe each of them has its own benefits and, in general, the drawbacks can be easily solved. Team working activities – such as soccer, basketball, etc. - are great examples of this possibility, since kids compete but also must cooperate with the team players.

    With the presented overview, one can conclude that competition and cooperation are both crucial for a fully development of a child, lasting to the parents to find ways of fulfilling this.

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    #2

    Re: IELTS Writing Task 2 - Support by correcting an essay

    Quote Originally Posted by ielts-student View Post


    The issue of educating a child has always been a relevant topic in the society. In terms of developing the sense of competition, there are several people those who support this, while others complain that children should be taught cooperating cooperation instead of competition. This essay outlines the main points from of each view and suggests a proper approach to the problem.

    A great amount of Some people agrees with the necessity of advocate developing competitive feelings in children. Their main reason is the motivation it brings to the kids, what facilitates the reach and they argue that it helps them later in life in achieving their of further goals. One cannot deny that many of the sporting greats notice, for instance, started competing early in life. the relevance of starting early at several fields, such as sport and science – José Arantes do Nascimento, also known as Pelé, started kicking balls against his fellows playing football at the age of 6. In addition, to it, the recognition one achieves by winning or the tears by of losing challenges brings relevant teach useful social skills such as fortitude and decision making to the children. – such as fortitude and decision-making; These skills will be kept help them later on in for their whole personal and professional life.

    On other hand, some people consider the sense of competition damaging to the kids. They support the view of cooperating and advocate argue this can make yield better adults in the future. Their argument is based on the assumption that throughout our life we work in teams – from preschool, to professional career and family formation. Furthermore, they believe competition motivates the encourages aggressiveness between among children, turning making the process of socializing harder and less natural between young peers.

    In my opinion, both senses – competition and cooperating – should be developed in children. I believe each of them has its own benefits and, in general, the drawbacks can be easily dealt with. solved. Team working activities – such as soccer, basketball, etc. are great examples, of this possibility, since kids compete but also must cooperate with their fellow team players.

    With the presented overview, one can conclude that In conclusion, competition and cooperation are both crucial for a fully the healthy development of a child, lasting and it is up to the parents to find ways of fulfilling this.
    .

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