Results 1 to 6 of 6
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Tamil
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • Australia

    • Join Date: Jan 2016
    • Posts: 11
    #1

    IELTS Essay Correction again please!! :)

    Hello again,

    Can somebody correct my essay please? Much appreciated! Thanks a ton!!

    First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing the position. To what extent do you agree?


    Prior to working in most jobs, many potential candidates today are required to attend an interview for a particular position. As well as the credentials that applicants possess, I firmly believe that it is the first impression which people give that will have the greatest impact on employers or superiors.


    There are a vast number of people today aspiring to seek employment, therefore, many employers will see numerous applicants from interviews. I feel that employers are attracted to a unique quality which a person has which distinguishes him or her from others. A prime example would be punctuality. Being on time to an interview relays a positive message towards managers or authoritative figures since they will be assured that the person would be able to come to work at the correct time. Furthermore, other qualities, such as making good eye contact or giving a firm handshake, tell the employer how confident a particular person is. Such kinds of applicants will attract employers and are more likely to get the job. In addition to this, people who come well prepared for an interview have more chances in securing employment, since this will reflect the integrity of an individual towards employers. Thus, if an applicant can demonstrate the qualities mentioned, they have an increased probability of getting recruited compared to the others.


    Wearing good attire is another vital aspect of creating a good first impression. A person who is well dressed and groomed will attract employers more as opposed to those who are ill-kempt. This is will give an impression to the recruiting board that the person is sincere and serious about the job offer at hand. Good dressing is also a sign of confidence hence, managers would prefer confident individuals after all.

    To conclude, I stand firm in my opinion in that giving a good first impression is necessary for getting jobs because the employers have to be fully assured that they have chosen the right person even though they know nothing about him or her.

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 10,989
    #2

    Re: IELTS Essay Correction again please!! :)

    Rather than "potential candidates" say "job candidates".

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 10,989
    #3

    Re: IELTS Essay Correction again please!! :)

    Other than the aforementioned suggestion, the first paragraph looks pretty good.

    Dinner time!

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 10,989
    #4

    Interview Time

    I have a better title.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 10,989
    #5

    Re: Interview Time

    Say:

    There are many people seeking employment, therefore employers interview numerous applicants.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 10,989
    #6

    Re: Interview Time

    Say:

    Being on time for an interview sends a positive message to a potential employer.

Similar Threads

  1. [Essay] IELTS Essay Correction Help Please!!
    By drrajeevhariprakash in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-Feb-2016, 04:55
  2. [Essay] Ielts essay correction
    By Giancarlo88 in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 24-Mar-2015, 15:04
  3. [Essay] IELTS Essay's correction
    By Dijaa in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-Mar-2015, 16:19
  4. [Essay] IELTS Essay's correction
    By Dijaa in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-Mar-2015, 00:43
  5. IELTS ESSAY correction please
    By Cassy in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 14-Aug-2012, 03:18

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •