Barack Obama arrived in India on a historic visit on Sunday

[Boris Tatarenko]

I'm learning to translate news reports. I've just rendered a passage from Russian into English. Could you take a look at the translated report. Does it sound natural to you or it's clear that a non-native speaker worked on it :roll:

Barack Obama arrived in India on a historic visit on Sunday. He will be the first sitting US President who participated in celebration of Republican Day. The second visit to India by the US President marks a qualitatively new moment in the relations between the countries, according to the White House officials. The main topics of talks during the visit are expected to be strategic partnership on defence, nuclear energy for peaceful purposes, climate change and trade.

 

[emsr2d2]

I'm learning to translate news reports. I've just rendered a passage from Russian into English. Could you take a look at the translated report. Does it sound natural to you or it's clear that a non-native speaker worked on it :roll:

Barack Obama arrived in India on a historic visit on Sunday. He will be the first sitting US President [STRIKE]who participated[/STRIKE] to participate in the celebration of Republican Day. The second visit to India by the US President marks a qualitatively new moment in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] relations between the two countries, according to [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] White House officials. The main topics of talks during the visit are expected to be strategic partnership on defence, nuclear energy for peaceful purposes, climate change and trade.

See my suggested amendments above.

 

[Tarheel]

I would say:

The second visit to India by A US President....

 

[teechar]

Barack Obama arrived in India on a historic visit on Sunday. He will be the first sitting US President [STRIKE]who[/STRIKE] to participate in [STRIKE]celebration of[/STRIKE] Republican Day celebrations. [STRIKE]The second visit to India by the US[/STRIKE] (President) Obama's second visit to India marks a qualitatively new moment in the relations between the two countries, according to [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] White House officials. The main topics of [STRIKE]talks[/STRIKE] discussion during the visit are expected to be the strategic partnership on defence, nuclear energy, [STRIKE]for peaceful purposes,[/STRIKE] climate change and trade.

Shouldn't this have been posted to the Editing and Writing Topics forum? ;-)
[Edit: cross-posted]

 

[Tarheel]

So it's the second visit to India by the current US President?

 

[Raymott]

It's certainly a confusing way to number his visits (if they are Obama's visits).

"This is my first reply on this forum. This second post on my third visit marks my fifth post since I first visited, and I now have seven posts."

 

[tedmc]

The second visit to India by the US President marks a qualitatively new moment in the relations between the two countries..

What is "a qualitatively new moment"?

I suggest "a major milestone".

 

[Boris Tatarenko]

I do not understand why you're all confused with the number of visits. Probably Obama has visited to India several times but it's the first time when the US president (current president) is going to participate in the celebration. ;-) Isn't it clear from my passage?

 

[Raymott]

You could have made it clearer. "This is Obama's second visit to India, but the first time that a US President ..."

 

[Tarheel]

I didn't know Obama had been to India even once. (Apparently, his travel budget is unlimited.)

 

[Tarheel]

It's kind of ironic that Obama would travel to a foreign country to celebrate Republican day.

 

[tedmc]

They celebrate Republic [STRIKE]an[/STRIKE] Day in India.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republic_Day_(India)

 

[Tarheel]

Hm. I was getting ready to admit to a mistake, but I checked, and the original post does indeed say "Republican Day". However, as you pointed out, Tedmc, it's Republic Day, and those two letters make all the difference.