[Essay] IELTS Essay Practice for Exams!!

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Hello all,
I'm submitting another essay for your feedback in preparation for my IELTS exam. I would much appreciate if you can give me a predicted band score also. Thank you!!

Title: Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

Implementing ideas or changes isn't an easy task as it requires thorough planning and research prior for it to come into effect. While some individuals believe that only governments can bring about such changes, others feel that people can produce a more crucial impact. I am in accordance with the latter opinion.

Firstly, people have the freedom to express their rights and opinions with issues. For example, governments can pass down many laws or regulations, however, these may not always be a complete success because it depends on whether people abide by or follow such rules. In most civilized societies, people voice their opinions regarding any changes being brought by governments, therefore, this gives people greater power in their hands and effectively make a difference at an individual level.

Another point to highlight is that most governments are formed from elections which involve the public. The voting rights of people give them the opportunity to vote for their desired politicians or governments, thereby ultimately dictating who will come to power. Hence, this points out how changes can be started from an individual level, which has a great impact in future. It also stems from the idea of a democracy and a democratic country where governments are elected by the people and for the people.

To conclude, there are many arguments which highlight how people can greatly impact societies more than governments. Although governments can aid people by bringing out effective strategies of laws, it should be successful on an individual level before it has a widespread effect.
 

emsr2d2

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Please remember to post essays in the Editing and Writing Topics section of the forum, not in Ask A Teacher. I have moved this one for you.
 
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