Results 1 to 5 of 5
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Feb 2014
    • Posts: 38
    #1

    Does this sentence sound ok?

    Does this sentence sound ok?

    Born in India on June 25, 1903, the son of an official in the Indian civil service, George Orwell went to Eton, subsequently joining the Burmese police.

    To me it sounds terribly run-on and it feels like there is something wrong with coherence.

  1. Roman55's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • Italy
      • Current Location:
      • France

    • Join Date: Feb 2014
    • Posts: 2,309
    #2

    Re: Does this sentence sound ok?

    Did you write this yourself? If not, where does it come from?
    I am not a teacher

  2. Raymott's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Australia

    • Join Date: Jun 2008
    • Posts: 24,091
    #3

    Re: Does this sentence sound ok?

    Quote Originally Posted by aggiesteph View Post
    To me it sounds terribly run-on and it feels like there is something wrong with coherence.
    I agree. It's atrocious.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Poland

    • Join Date: Feb 2014
    • Posts: 38
    #4

    Re: Does this sentence sound ok?

    I did not write who said it in my first post on purpose, so as not to bias the people who were going to read it. This sentence was dictated to me by my university teacher (a native speaker of English), as a perfect example of "good English". We were supposed to combine a bunch of short sentences into longer segments using left-handed sentences.

    My version was: Born in India on June 25, 1903, George Orwell was the son of an official in the Indian civil service. Having graduated from Eton, he joined the Burmese police.

    I consciously made it two sentences, as the information about his birth in India, his education in England, and joining the Burmese police simply struck me as too remote from one another (both in terms of time and place) to put them in a single segment.

    My teacher said it should be one sentence and gave me the version from my first post (Born in India on June 25, 1903, the son of an official in the Indian civil service, George Orwell went to Eton, subsequently joining the Burmese police.)

    While I do not question the grammar of this sentece per se, it sound to me defective on the level of logic. It reads to me almost as if Eton were in India, and he went there almost right after his birth.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,830
    #5

    Re: Does this sentence sound ok?

    I would probably write:

    Born to an officer in the Indian Civil Service on June 25th, 1903, George Orwell attended Eton and then joined the Burmese police.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Similar Threads

  1. Does this sentence sound okay?
    By Maria311 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 15-Jun-2013, 00:12
  2. Does this sentence sound okay?
    By juliana0403 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 19-Aug-2012, 19:33
  3. [Grammar] how does this sentence sound?
    By BrutalLogiC in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-Jul-2011, 17:23
  4. [General] Does this sentence sound right?
    By Gig in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 30-Mar-2009, 13:53
  5. Does this sentence sound OK?
    By snade17 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 17-Nov-2007, 18:45

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •