I have some comments:
4. A woman with dark hair is called a brunette.
5. ...walk down a street which runs pass beautiful gardens.. (A street can be lined with trees and flowers but not gardens)
6. The woman had long fingers like pianist,...
7. The rainwater was gushing down the old drainpipes making them rattle.
8. I would use "flickered" instead of "sputtered" which is associated with noise.
Student or Learner