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      • Native Language:
      • British English
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      • Wales
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    • Join Date: Feb 2016
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    #1

    Question Help me?

    So basically I had to write an alternative ending to Romeo and Juliet and I need help improving it! This is what I got

    Worried, Paris walked through the church becoming more and more anxious to see Juliet’s corpse. There were loud noises coming from outside, sort of like gun shots. He began to feel a presence behind him, then he heard the church door slam. Quickly, he hid behind the nearest pew as he began to hear footsteps coming towards him. He saw a charming young boy who looked very familiar, walk past with his head down. Romeo Montague.

    Romeo walked through the church, when he sees Juliet laying there delicately in her open casket, there were flowers surrounding her and lit candles everywhere. He felt his heart drop to the floor, not realising that Juliet was faking her death to get out of marrying Paris. After kissing and embracing Juliet and planning his death, Romeo heard someone step out behind him. He quickly turned around to find Paris standing there glaring at him.

    ‘what are you doing here?’ Romeo asks Paris.
    ‘I came to see my corpse bride.’ Paris answers, smirking.
    ‘she never wanted to marry you.’ Romeo exclaims, giving him the look.

    Before Paris could answer back, they heard Juliet murmur, ‘Romeo?’. ‘Juliet!’ Romeo cried as he caressed her.

    All of a sudden, the police came barging through the door. Thinking that Paris was Romeo, the police started shooting at him and Paris fell dead. Before anyone saw, Romeo sneaked through the back exit with Juliet in his arms. They ran and ran for miles until they were completely out of site.

    They stayed in a fancy hotel far out of town and planned to get married by noon. After marriage, they bought a house together and never returned.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
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      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,876
    #2

    Re: Help me?

    When you say "I had to write an alternative ending", what do you mean? Why do you have to do this?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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