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    #1

    Qabus Nama

    Hello,

    A few days ago accidentally I read a fraction of a book called "Qabus Nama" in Persian. It's a book written many centuries ago in old-fashioned Persian. Anyway, I was impressed by the fraction and decided to translate it into English. Would you please scrutinize my translation and tell me if it is correct or not? Unfortunately I could not find the English translation of Qabus Nama on Internet in order to gauge my translation with it, therefore I determined to ask you native speakers of English for assess my translation:


    If it is not possible to assist people, at least do not harm them, because the greatest and manfulest man is whom to live in such a way that both in mundane life and hereafter be tranquil and possesses both of them.

    If you want not to be heavy-hearted forever, be contented and unjealous to be able to live on welfare, for the root of sadness is envious. And when you took this way and got by, your free flesh would be the servant of nobody.

    Do not place covetousness in your heart. As a man excludes avarice from his heart and takes the way of contentedness, He will be self-contained from all the creations.
    Regards.

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    #2

    Re: Qabus Nama

    I am afraid your translation is incomprehensible.
    I am not a teacher.

  1. teechar's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Qabus Nama

    Quote Originally Posted by Flogger View Post
    If it is not possible to assist people, at least do not harm to them, because the greatest and manfulest manliest man is he who m to lives in such a way that both in mundane this life and in the hereafter be is tranquil; and possesses his are both of them.

    If you want to live well and not to be heavyhearted forever, be contented and unjealous not jealous, to be able to live on welfare, for envy is the root of misery. sadness is envious. And when you took follow this way and got get by, you free flesh would will be the servant of nobody.

    Do not place covetousness in your heart. As a man excludes avarice from his heart and takes the way of contentedness, he will be self-contained protected from all evil. the creations.
    .

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    #4

    Re: Qabus Nama

    It makes sense now after teechar's corrections.
    I have some comments on the first paragraph:

    If it is not possible to assist people, at least do not harm
    to them, because the greatest and manfulest manliest man is he who m to lives in such a way that both in mundane this life and in the hereafter be is tranquil; and possesses his are both of them.

    1. do no harm to them/do not harm them

    2. both in this life and in the hereafter is tranquil - both his life in this world and in the hereafter is tranquil?

    3. The last part is a repeat and not required I think.

    What does manliness(which I could never have guessed) have to do with tranquility of life?
    Last edited by tedmc; 03-Mar-2016 at 02:35.
    I am not a teacher.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Qabus Nama

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    1. do no harm to them
    That's the one I meant. Thank you, Ted.

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    2. both in this life and in the hereafter is tranquil - both his life in this world and in the hereafter is tranquil?
    I prefer my version.

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    3. The last part is a repeat and not required I think.
    What does manliness(which I could never have guessed) have to do with tranquility of life?
    It's evidently from some ancient text.

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    #6

    Re: Qabus Nama

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post

    What does manliness(which I could never have guessed) have to do with tranquility of life?
    I literally translated the text from Persian to English to be faithful to the original text.

    The author wants to say that live in such a way that do people no harm in this life, for if you do that you are tranquil both in the mundane life and in the hereafter.

    According to many religions such as Islam and Christianity, if you tease somebody in this life, God will punish you in the hereafter. Therefore if you want to be tranquil in the hereafter, you must annoy nobody.

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    #7

    Re: Qabus Nama

    If it is not possible to assist people, at least do no harm to them, because the greatest and manliest man is he who lives in such a way that both in this life and in the hereafter is tranquil; and his are both of them.

    I took me quite a while to figure out the sentence. I think it is clearer as follows:

    If it is not possible to assist people, at least do no harm to them, because the greatest and manliest man is he who lives in such a way that is tranquil, both in this life and in the hereafter; and his are both of them.


    and his are both of them
    But I still can't make out this sentence. His way of life? What is "both of them"?
    Last edited by tedmc; 04-Mar-2016 at 10:35.
    I am not a teacher.

  3. teechar's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Qabus Nama

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    he who lives in such a way that [both in this life and in the hereafter] is tranquil;
    Take out the extra information inside the brackets, and the text should become clear.
    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    and his are both of them.
    But I still can't make out this sentence. His way of life? What is "both of them"?
    Transpose the two parts of that text and you'll get: and both of them are his.
    are his = belong to him

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    #9

    Re: Qabus Nama

    I don't think saying "his are both of them"(which I find ungrammatical) is equivalent to saying "both of them are his".
    Why reverse the sentence in the first place?
    I am not a teacher.

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    #10

    Re: Qabus Nama

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    Why reverse the sentence in the first place?
    Poetic/literary license.

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