Formal E-mail to Cambridge University. Is it correct?

[sofighigliani]

“Dear Sir or Madam:

This is to request more information about the Architecture course at the University of Cambridge. I am extremely interested in this course and I would love to apply for it in 2018.

My name is Sofía Ghigliani and I am fifteen years old. Right now I am cursing my fourth year in high school and after two years I will be able to start a degree in a university. I am from Argentina and I have lived there my whole life. Although my school is not international and does not give students the opportunity to sit for the Advanced Level Exams it has a remarkable level of English and it prepares students for International Cambridge exams as CAE or FCE. I would be grateful if you could indicate the academic entry requirements of Cambridge University for Argentinean students. As I have Italian family, I will be getting my Italian passport shortly which means I would be part of the European Union.

Lately, I have been really involved in architecture. I am a volunteer in a non-governmental organization to build houses and other infrastructure projects, I am taking small courses about architecture and I am working on my own project with a program called “AutoCAD”. I sat for the First Certificate in English and I got a B (177 over 190). During January I went to study English in Wimbledon School of English and I was placed in the level “Advanced Plus” This year I am going to sit for the Certificate in Advanced English.

Thank you in advanced.

Yours faithfully,
Sofía Ghigliani.”

 

[teechar]

Dear Sir or Madam,

This is to request more information about the Architecture undergraduate course at the University of Cambridge. I am highly interested in this course, and I wish to apply for it in 2018.

I am fifteen years old, and I am in my fourth year in high school. I will graduate in two years' time, after which I plan to study architecture in university. I am from Argentina, but I am entitled to Italian citizenship which I plan to apply for soon.

I am passionately interested in architecture, and currently I volunteer in a non-governmental organization which builds houses and is involved in other infrastructure projects. I am also taking courses in AutoCAD and doing my own design projects.

Although my school does not offer students the opportunity to sit for the Advanced Level Exams, it does prepare students for the International Cambridge exams including CAE and FCE. I sat for the FCE and got a B (177 out of 190), and later this year I am going to sit for the Certificate in Advanced English.

I would be grateful if you could indicate the academic entry requirements for students applying for your Architecture degree program. As I have indicated, I will be applying as a citizen of Italy, but my academic credentials will be from Argentina.

Thank you in advance.

Yours faithfully,

Sofía Ghigliani