Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 19
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Serbo-Croatian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 3,605
    #1

    The Tea War , part one

    Would you please correct my mistakes in the first part of my short story?

    The two neighbouring countries, Frommia and Galia were like twins. They were almost similar in size and had roughly the same number of inhabitants. They shared the same political and economical system and spoke the same language. Their citizens ate the same food, loved the same sports, listened to the similar music and shared the similar outlook on life. Although there was an official border between the two countries with border crossings and guards, people would move smoothly from one country to another without noticing any difference. Nature had gifted the both nations with a large number of clean, almost intact rivers and lakes, and high mountains. These tourist attractions were visited by a large number of tourists, many of whom would return to their homelands with a tinge of envy. Such a harmony between two nations was seldom seen in the history of humankind.

    Both peoples were so infatuated with tea that they would say that, instead of blood, in their veins ran tea. That could be an exaggeration, but probably it would be almost impossible to find someone in the both countries who did not drink tea. They would start sipping it as small babies, even before they could pronounce the word tea, and they would end up gulping down a few litters every day when they grew older. In many countries, a dying person would be given the last rites, but in Frommia and Galia it was a cup of tea. To die without tasting your favourite drink one last time was an unforgivable sin.

    When people woke in the morning, they would rush to put a kettle on and make a nice cup of tea. The ritual would be repeated in all homes all over the two countries, from small quiet villages to busy towns and cities, in the simple homes of ordinary workers as well as in the mansions of intellectuals and businesspersons. Tea drinking was so deep-rooted in these societies that it had imbued every part of life. Everything and everybody was subordinate to it. Work places, schools, offices, old people’s homes, prisons and other institutions, they all had to make provision for tea drinking. Even Parliament sessions would be stopped or delayed so that MPs could refresh their minds and mouths with a few cups of tea. In many countries in the world people used to build mosques and churches, but in Frommia and Galia they built temples of tea. They were splendid buildings to which people congregated in their thousands to worship tea and learn how to brew it. Of course, you could buy all kinds of tea in these two countries, like Earl Grey, Darjeeling, Assam or Jasmine, but the majority of citizens preferred to make their own blend. People wished to express themselves through their teas. Thus, lovers made each other the most exquisite sweet teas, which echoed their love. But those who were contemplating divorce brewed the most bitter teas imaginable, as if they wished to poison their partners. This subtle art of tea was so advanced that you did not need to wonder what your spouses, friends and colleagues thought of you. A mouthful of their tea was more informative than their spoken words.

    Only a small detail told apart these neighbouring countries. While in Frommia people drank tea without milk, in Galia they drank it with it. Nobody was able to prove scientifically the cause of this difference, but the legend said that in the 14th century Galia’s young King Bartoleo married a beautiful woman from abroad. She was called Adonia, and she became the Queen of Galia. She loved tea, just as her husband had, and it was she who introduced milk with tea. The young king did not like the idea of milk in tea, which was viewed as a taboo, but seeing his wife suffering of nostalgia and withering away, he had to compromise. After he had granted her her wish, Adonia’s health improved immediately, and her beauty blossomed like a flower in the springtime. The legend said that one cold winter night, as she and the King sat huddled together whispering endearing words to each other, Adonia, crafty as women are, lifted her cup and put it to Bartoleo’s lips. In the room lit by a dancing fire in the fireplace and a few candles, the enchanted King did not notice he was sipping from his wife’s cup. Although he had broken the taboo, he had to admit his wife was right - tea tasted better with milk. From that moment, it had not taken long before all the Royal family and then the whole country drank their tea with milk. But another mystery remained unsolved. Why tea with milk never took hold in the neighbouring Frommia? The scientists, tea specialists and historians from both countries had tried to find the answer, but despite their endeavour, they were unable to agree on their theories.
    TO BE CONTINUED

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,086
    #2

    Re: The Tea War , part one

    Say:

    They were similar in size and had roughly the same number of inhabitants.

    "Similar" means "almost identical" or "close to being identical" or "almost the same". An additional "almost" is not needed.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,086
    #3

    Re: The Tea War , part one

    Say:

    They shared the same political and economic systems.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,086
    #4

    Re: The Tea War , part one

    Perhaps:

    They ate the same food, loved the same sports, listened to the same music, and had the same outlook on life.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,086
    #5

    Re: The Tea War , part one

    Say:

    ...people would move from one country to the other...

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,086
    #6

    Re: The Tea War , part one

    Try:

    Nature had blessed both nations with a large number of largely intact rivers and lakes, and high mountains.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Serbo-Croatian
      • Home Country:
      • Bosnia Herzegovina
      • Current Location:
      • Sweden

    • Join Date: Mar 2008
    • Posts: 3,605
    #7

    Re: The Tea War , part one

    Tarheel,

    I am wondering if it would be all right to replace "largely intact rivers..." with "mostly intact rivers..."
    I am feeling that "large" and "largely" in the same sentence do not sound good, but that is only my feeling.

  6. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,183
    #8

    Re: The Tea War , part one

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    The two neighbouring countries, Frommia and Galia were like twins. They were almost similar in size and had roughly the same number of inhabitants. They shared the same political and economic al system and spoke the same language. Their citizens ate the same food, loved the same sports, listened to the similar music and had shared the a similar outlook on life. Although there was an official border between the two countries with border crossings and guards, people would moved smoothly freely between the two countries. from one country to another without noticing any difference. Nature had gifted the both nations witha large number of clean, almost intact pristine rivers and lakes, and high mountains. These tourist attractions were visited by a large number of tourists, many of whom would return to their homelands with a tinge of envy. Such a harmony between two nations was seldom seen in the history of humankind.

    Both peoples were so infatuated with tea that they would say that, instead of blood, in their veins ran tea. That could be an exaggeration, but probably it would be was because it was almost impossible to find someone in either of those the both countries who did not drink tea. They would start sipping it as small babies, even before they could pronounce the word tea, and they would end up gulping down a few litters every day when they grew older. In many countries, a dying person would be given the last rites, but in Frommia and Galia it was a cup of tea. To die without tasting your favourite drink one last time was an unforgivable sin.

    When people woke in the morning, they would rush to put the kettle on and make a nice cup of tea. The ritual would be repeated in all homes all over the two countries, from small quiet villages to busy towns and cities, in the simple homes of ordinary workers as well as in the mansions of intellectuals and businesspersons. Tea drinking was so deep-rooted in these societies that it had imbued every part of life. Everything and everybody abided by was subordinate to it. Workplaces, schools, offices, old people’s homes, prisons and other institutions, they all had to make provisions for tea drinking. Even Parliament sessions would be stopped or delayed so that MPs could refresh their minds and mouths with a few cups of tea. In many countries in the world, people used to build mosques and churches, but in Frommia and Galia they built temples of dedicated to tea. They were splendid buildings to in which people congregated in their thousands to worship tea and learn how to brew it. Of course, you could buy all kinds of tea in these two countries, like Earl Grey, Darjeeling, Assam or Jasmine, but the majority of citizens preferred to make their own blend. People wished to express themselves through their teas. Thus, lovers made each other the most exquisite sweet teas to express their feelings. , which echoed their love. But those who were contemplating divorce brewed the most bitter teas imaginable, as if they wished to poison their partners. This subtle art of tea making was so advanced that you did not need to wonder what your spouse, friends and colleagues thought of you. A mouthful of their tea was more informative than their spoken words.

    Only a small detail told apart these neighbouring countries. While in Frommia people drank tea without milk, in Galia they drank it with it. Nobody was able to prove scientifically the cause of work out the reason this difference, but the legend said has it that in the 14th century, Galia’s young King Bartoleo married a beautiful woman from abroad. She was called Adonia, and she became the Queen of Galia. She loved tea, just as her husband did, had, and it was she who introduced started the practice of adding milk with to tea. The young king did not like the idea of milk in tea, which was viewed as a taboo, but seeing his wife suffering of with nostalgia and withering away, he had to compromise. After he had granted her her wish, Adonia’s health improved immediately, and her beauty blossomed like a flower in the springtime. The legend said says that one cold winter night, as she and the King sat huddled together whispering endearing words to each other, Adonia, crafty as women are, lifted her cup and put it to Bartoleo’s lips. In the room lit by a dancing fire in the fireplace and a few candles, the enchanted King did not notice he was sipping from his wife’s cup. Although he had broken the taboo, he had to admit his wife was right - tea tasted better with milk. From that moment, it had not taken long before all the Royal family and then the whole country drank their tea with milk. But another mystery remained unsolved. Why did tea with milk never took take hold in the neighbouring Frommia? The Scientists, tea specialists and historians from both countries had tried to find the answer, but despite their endeavours, they were unable to reach a consensus. agree on their theories.
    TO BE CONTINUED
    .

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,086
    #9

    Re: The Tea War , part one

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Tarheel,

    I am wondering if it would be all right to replace "largely intact rivers..." with "mostly intact rivers..."
    I am feeling that "large" and "largely" in the same sentence do not sound good, but that is only my feeling.
    Either is much better than "almost intact" which apparently means that they are not intact but could be with a small change.

    (Apparently, what you mean by "intact" is "not altered by man".)

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,086
    #10

    Re: The Tea War , part one

    I did not think of "pristine". On the other hand, Teechar missed "litters" which has to do with puppies or kittens and not tea.


Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 17-Mar-2011, 11:22
  2. Christmas/ New Year learners' dictionary Part 5 (final part)
    By Alex Case in forum General Language Discussions
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 16-Dec-2010, 23:47
  3. [General] eating a ravenous tea = devouring tea with ravenous appetite
    By vil in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 25-May-2010, 10:10
  4. war
    By peter123 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 23-Sep-2008, 08:33

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •