[Essay] need help in essay

Status
Not open for further replies.

ahsan66666

Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2016
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
English
Home Country
Pakistan
Current Location
Pakistan
Six Simple Tips for Healthier Life
The supreme wish of everyone is to be healthy. For that everyone wants to spend last penny of his saving. In short, without healthier life a person is nothing. He does not care about other things if he is sick.
Here I compiled five tips which keep you healthier and provide you freshness.
Keep hydrated.
Get plenty of sunlight.
Eat mindfully.
Get enough sleep.
Walk regularly and engage in some exercise.
Practice random acts of kind and appreciation.
Keep Hydrated;-
Water makes two-third of body. It performs plethora of functions including acting as a solvent, carrier of nutrients, temperature regulator and body detoxifier. Maintaining hydration has profound influence on vitality and energy level including mental alertness.
Get plenty of sunlight;-
Sunlight is associated with wide spectrum of benefits including, reduced risk of cancer, heart disease, multiple scleroses and osteoporosis as well as improved immune system. Experts believe that vitamin D is made when shadow is shorter than our body i.e when the sun is high in the sky.
Eat mindfully;-
Studies depict that a “primal” diet made up of fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds as well as meat, fish and egg control your weight and improvement in risk marker of illness such as heart disease and diabetes. It is common practice among people that they eat extra food. However, we can eat mindfully and quality food.Aditionally,breakfast kick start your metabolism and helps to stay active with alert mind.
Get enough sleep;-
Sleep loss the ability to optimize mental energy and physical energy and optimal sleep (include eight hours) reduce the risk of chronic disease and increase longevity one simple strategy that can help us to go early to bed. It will help us in long life and wellbeing.
Walk regularly and engage in some exercise;-
Walking is associated with variety of benefits including a reduced risk of chromic diseases, anti-anxiety and need enhancing effects. Likewise, exercise helps us to maintain body and muscles growth.
Practice random acts of kindness and appreciation;-
Random act of kindness are good for receivers as well as givers. It could be giving ladies or elders a seat in a bus, pay for baggers food;Unless spending more time focusing on what we don’t take but on what we do can do to bring a peace of heart and mind.
__________________
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
Is this meant to be a formal essay?
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
What are you going to do with this piece of writing when it's ready?
 

ahsan66666

Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2016
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
English
Home Country
Pakistan
Current Location
Pakistan
What are you going to do with this piece of writing when it's ready?
i have no concern with this essay ,,,i m just trying how to write in proper way
 

tedmc

VIP Member
Joined
Apr 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Malaysia
Current Location
Malaysia
i have no concern with this essay ,,,i m just trying how to write in proper way

What do you mean by "no concern with this essay"?

Capitalize the first word of a sentence.

Use punctuations properly. There is no ",,,,". "m" is not a word. There should be a full-stop at the end of a sentence. Allow a space after a comma.
Say "I am just trying to write in a proper way". Or "I am just trying to improve my writing skills".


Some comments about your essay:-

1. There is no punctuation as ";-".
2. Use ":-" before the list of your tips, which should preferably be a bullet list or a numbered list.
3. Allow space between paragraphs.
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
You need to read up on how to structure an essay. Your text should be in clear and separate paragraphs.
 

ahsan66666

Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2016
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
English
Home Country
Pakistan
Current Location
Pakistan
What do you mean by "no concern with this essay"?

Capitalize the first word of a sentence.

Use punctuations properly. There is no ",,,,". "m" is not a word. There should be a full-stop at the end of a sentence. Allow a space after a comma.
Say "I am just trying to write in a proper way". Or "I am just trying to improve my writing skills".


Some comments about your essay:-

1. There is no punctuation as ";-".
2. Use ":-" before the list of your tips, which should preferably be a bullet list or a numbered list.
3. Allow space between paragraphs.

thanks. next time i will consider your suggestion while writing :)
 

ahsan66666

Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2016
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
English
Home Country
Pakistan
Current Location
Pakistan
You need to read up on how to structure an essay. Your text should be in clear and separate paragraphs.

next time check my essay ; i will try to improve
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top