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    #1

    The Tea War , part three

    Would you please correct my mistakes in the third part of my short story?

    Several days passed without any incidents, but then a torpedo sunk a ship carrying tons of tea off the coast of Frommia. Mr Topolovski appeared on national TV immediately after the incident. Fuming and shouting, he condemned the attack, which according to him was a horrific war crime. He did not mention Galia or Mr Uzunov once, but it was clear whom he was holding responsible for the attack. “Twelve young sailors have been brutally murdered by those who are afraid of the truth. Twelve innocent lives have been lost at the hands of the cowards without pride and morals. The murderers and those who gave them the order must face justice.” His voice thundered, multiplied hundreds of thousands of times in the homes of his citizens, who were furious just as he was. They rushed into the streets and demanded revenge, their eyes blazing with fury. Only a strong presence of the police prevented them from torching Galia’s embassy.

    The UN Security Council was convened again, but as soon as the ambassadors started talking, it was clear that the UN Security Council was deeply divided and its members would never agree on a strong resolution condemning the act. In the end, the Secretary-General appeared in front of the media to express his frustration and powerlessness. He was a man in his seventies but seemed to have grown eight years older during those eight hours of debate. More wrinkles had formed on his forehead and around his eyes, which had sunken deep into his sockets. His voice was shaky and weak, and he was looking at the floor as if he was the culprit, afraid of his own conscience. It was clear that a one or two of similar debates and the man would not come out of them alive.
    The UN investigation into the sinking of the ship found no concrete proof of the involvement of the neighbouring or any other country. People in Galia and Mr Uzunov greeted the findings with jubilation, while people in Frommia and Mr Topolovski were angrier than ever before, accusing the UN of partiality and conspiracy. Protesters rushed into the streets once again with their flags and placards, and they yelled insults not only at Mr Uzunov but also at the Secretary General.
    After a while people returned to their work and everyday chores, but a palpable tension was building up in both countries. Tourists stopped coming and travels were cancelled indefinitely. One after another, foreign embassies closed; their personnel packed their luggage and left. The propaganda war started. Nothing positive was being reported from a neighbouring country. Their differences were being accentuated and commonalities intentionally ignored. Both Mr Uzunov and Mr Topolovski did their best to incite their nations. They and their agitators went from town to town, from village to village and told people how the other side was evil and plotted against them. The large crowds cheered them waiving their national flags and promising they were going to stand beside them and sacrifice themselves to defend the honour of their land.
    One day the grim news came that a group of unknown attackers had killed ten soldiers in the border post on the Galia-Frommia border. Apparently, they were still sipping their evening tea with milk, when the despicable enemy assaulted them in the most cowardly way. The soldiers never had a chance to defend themselves. Their tea turned red with blood spurting from their bodies. Later, they all were awarded posthumously with a medal for gallantry and buried with full military honours.

    As soon as seven days of national mourning ended, Mr Uzunov ordered his air force to destroy all major temples dedicated to tea in the neighbouring country. Within minutes, the Galia’s planes were flying over the border and dropping their deadly load on the ancient beautiful buildings, which were turning into dust and rubble within seconds.
    Even if Mr Toplovski and his compatriots had been expecting some kind of attack from Galia, the destruction of their temples were unimaginable. Such barbarity was inexcusable and unforgivable, and it caused an outpouring of anger and hatred. People of Frommia promised vengeance, and their president had no choice but to retaliate in kind. Soon, the planes of Frommia’s air force flew over the border and attacked the ancient temples in Galia, causing destruction and chaos. The two poor countries started to throw at each other all kinds of projectiles: shells, bombs, rockets and grenades, which caused demolition of factories, homes and infrastructure.
    Their conflict became breaking news around the world. People who had never heard about them before were now fascinated by their dispute. All kinds of experts were invited in TV studios where they defended or attacked drinking tea with milk. Discussions were held at the leading universities with the participations of numerous philosophers and other intellectuals who quoted Aristotle, Kant, Spinoza, Heidegger and other great minds to prove their point. Thus overnight, tea without or with milk turned into the most discussed issue within academia.

    Other groups jumped on the bandwagon also. Celebrities, sportspersons, musicians, actors, writers and politicians, they all took sides and passionately defended their standpoint. Rallies were held in the major European and American cities, which looked like the rallies held in Frommia and Galia, albeit with much smaller crowds. But they shouted the same slogans, “Without milk!” or “With milk!” Popular rock and pop bands joined the campaign and performed at the concerts visited by thousands of young people who were keen to support either Frommia or Galia and their struggle for the truth.
    As the conflict was spiralling into an ever deeper abyss, and more people were dying, the world became more divided. It was impossible to summon the UN Security Council, because its members felt such an aversion to each other that they refused to sit in the same room, let alone to have any kind of discussion. The media tried to get some information from the Secretary-General, but he seemed to have disappeared from the face of the earth.
    TO BE CONTINUED

  1. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: The Tea War , part three

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post

    Several days passed without any incidents, but then a torpedo sunk a ship carrying tons of tea off the coast of Frommia. Mr Topolovski appeared on national TV immediately after the incident. Fuming and shouting, he condemned the attack, which according to him was a horrific war crime. He did not mention Galia or Mr Uzunov once, but it was clear whom he was holding responsible for the attack. “Twelve young sailors have been brutally murdered by those who are afraid of the truth. Twelve innocent lives have been lost at the hands of the cowards with no out pride and or morals. The murderers and those who gave them the order must face justice.” His voice thundered and was heard multiplied in the homes of hundreds of thousands of times in the homes of his citizens, who were furious just as he was. They rushed into the streets and demanded revenge, their eyes blazing with fury. Only the strong police presence of the police prevented them from torching Galia’s embassy.

    The UN Security Council was convened again, but as soon as the ambassadors started talking, it was clear that the UN Security Council was deeply divided and its members would never agree on a strong resolution condemning the act. In the end, the Secretary-General appeared in front of the media to express his frustration and powerlessness. He was a man in his seventies but seemed to have grown eight years older during those eight hours of debate. More wrinkles had formed on his forehead and around his eyes, which had sunken deep into his their sockets. His voice was shaky and weak, and he was looking at the floor as if he was the culprit, afraid of his own conscience. It was clear that a one or two of similar debates and the man would not come out of them alive.

    The UN investigation into the sinking of the ship found no concrete proof of the involvement of the neighbouring or any other country. People in Galia and Mr Uzunov greeted the findings with jubilation, while people in Frommia and Mr Topolovski were angrier than ever before, accusing the UN of partiality and conspiracy. Protesters rushed into the streets once again with their flags and placards, and they yelled insults not only at Mr Uzunov but also at the Secretary General.

    After a while, people returned to their work and everyday chores, but a palpable tension was building up in both countries. Tourists stopped coming, and travels were cancelled indefinitely. One after another, foreign embassies closed; their personnel packed their luggage and left. Meanwhile, the propaganda war between Galia and Frommia started, and nothing positive was being reported in either country about the other. from a neighbouring country. Their differences were being accentuated and commonalities intentionally ignored. Both Mr Uzunov and Mr Topolovski did their best to incite their nations. They and their agitators went from town to town, from village to village and told people how the other side was evil and was plotting against them. The large crowds cheered them, waiving their national flags and promising they were going to stand beside with them and sacrifice themselves to defend the honour of their land.

    One day, the grim news came that a group of unknown attackers had killed ten soldiers in the border guarding a post on the Galia-Frommia border. Apparently, they were still sipping their evening tea (with milk), when the despicable enemy assaulted them they were set upon in the most cowardly way. The soldiers never had a chance to defend themselves. Their tea turned red with blood spurting from their bodies. Later, they all were awarded were each posthumously awarded with a medal for gallantry and buried with full military honours.

    As soon as seven days of national mourning ended, Mr Uzunov ordered his air force to destroy all major temples dedicated to tea in the neighbouring country. Within minutes, the Galia’s planes were flying over the border and dropping their deadly load on the ancient beautiful buildings, which were turning turned intodust and rubble within seconds.

    Even if Mr Toplovski and his compatriots had been expecting some kind of attack from Galia, they never thought it would involve the destruction of their temples. were unimaginable. Such barbarity was inexcusable and unforgivable, and it caused an outpouring of anger and hatred. The people of Frommia promised vengeance, and their president had no choice but to retaliate in kind. Soon, the planes of Frommia’s air force flew over the border and attacked the ancient temples in Galia, causing destruction and chaos. The two poor countries started to throw at each other fired all kinds of projectiles at each other: artillery shells, bombs, rockets and grenades, which caused demolition led to the destruction of factories, homes and infrastructure.

    Their conflict became breaking major news around the world. People who had never heard about them before were now fascinated by their dispute. All kinds of experts were invited in on TV studios programmes where they defended or attacked drinking tea with milk. Discussions were held at the leading universities with the participations of numerous philosophers and other intellectuals who quoting Aristotle, Kant, Spinoza, Heidegger and other great minds to prove argue their point. Thus overnight, tea without or with milk turned into the most discussed issue within academia.

    Other groups jumped on the bandwagon also. Celebrities, sportspeople, musicians, actors, writers and politicians they all took sides and passionately defended their standpoint. Rallies were held in the major European and American cities, which looked like emulated the rallies held in Frommia and Galia, albeit with much smaller crowds. But they shouted the same slogans, “Without milk!” or “With milk!” Popular Rock and pop bands joined the campaign and performed at the concerts visited attended by thousands of young people who were keen to support either Frommia or Galia and their struggle for the truth.

    As the conflict was spiralling into an ever-deeper abyss, and more people were dying, the world became more divided on this issue. It was impossible to summon the UN Security Council, because its members felt such an aversion to each other that they refused to sit in the same room, let alone to have any kind of discussion. The media tried to get some information from the Secretary-General, but he seemed to have disappeared from the face of the earth.
    TO BE CONTINUED
    I didn't understand the text highlighted in red. If it's not important, delete it.

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    #3

    Re: The Tea War , part three

    teechar,

    Thank you again.
    I am wondering if I could rephrase the above sentences like this:
    1. Tourists stopped coming, and the tours to the both countries were cancelled because of imminent danger.
    2. It was clear that one or two of similar debates could eventually cost the Secretary General his life. ( I wanted to say that every time he came out to talk to the media he was weaker and more ill, and probably if he continued in the same way he would die)

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    #4

    Re: The Tea War , part three

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    1. Tourists stopped coming, and the all tours to the both those two countries were cancelled because of imminent danger.
    2. It was clear that one or two of similardebates could eventually cost the Secretary General his life had had enough and could no more stomach such harrowing debates.
    .

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    #5

    Re: The Tea War , part three

    Paragraph one. Say:

    It was clear who he was holding responsible for the attack.

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    #6

    Re: The Tea War , part three

    The phrase "brutal murder" is a favorite of media types. That is because, I suppose, that they think it says something that "murder" by itself does not. However, if that's what they think they are wrong. Brutality is an essential aspect of murder. The phrase "brutal murder" would be much the same as "wet water" if that (wet water) were phrase that was used. All murders are brutal. Murder is a brutal crime. Were those sailors brutally murdered? Probably not any moreso than anybody else who's been murdered.

    Perhaps I would have the person say:

    That was an act of war. But it was also a crime. Those sailors were murdered!

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