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    #1

    how to write an advertisement

    hello everyone

    im going to write an advertisement in the newspaper about me creating database for small or medium sized businesses.

    but here's the catch, i live in Lebanon, and the Lebanese have a mix of excellent to a very poor English speaking population.

    so this means i have to write the advertisement in a manner where it would appeal to all kinds of audience, from excellent fluent English speakers, all the way to the bulky ones who only are familiar with basic words, to the ones who have a high level of similarity to the neanderthal cavemen.

    so this is what i had in mind to keep it simple.

    "Creating database for small or medium sized companies"

    I chose companies instead of businesses for the sake of the bulky ones

    thank you for your time and reading my post and consideration in advance
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 21-Mar-2016 at 12:07.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: how to write an advertisement

    Quote Originally Posted by HelpReceiver View Post
    Hello everyone.

    I'm going to write an advertisement in the newspaper about me creating a database for small or medium-sized businesses (no full stop here) but here's the catch - I live in Lebanon, and the range of English-speaking ability amongst the Lebanese people is great. have a mix of excellent to a very poor English speaking population.

    so This means I have to write the advertisement in a manner where so that it would appeals to all kinds of audiences, from excellent fluent English speakers, all the way to the bulky ones learners who only are familiar with basic words. to the ones who have a high level of similarity to the neanderthal cavemen. (the last part is unnecessarily rude.)

    so This is what I had have in mind to keep it simple.

    "Creating databases for small or medium sized companies."

    I chose "companies" instead of "businesses" for the sake of the bulky ones. That's the second time in this post you have used the word "bulky". The word didn't make sense either time. What are you trying to say?

    Thank you for your time and reading my post and consideration in advance.
    Please see my corrections above. It is important to follow these rules of written English at all times:

    - Start every sentence with a capital letter.
    - End every sentence with a single, appropriate punctuation mark.
    - Always capitalise the word "I" and all proper nouns.

    With regard to your tagline, with my correction, I think it's OK. It would be understandable to pretty much all levels of English proficiency.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: how to write an advertisement

    I'd write and rather than or.​ Somehow it sounds a little more assertive to me.
    I am not a teacher.

    • Member Info
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    #4

    Re: how to write an advertisement

    Quote Originally Posted by HelpReceiver View Post
    "Creating database for small or medium sized companies"
    Not a teacher

    I think

    "Creating databases for small or medium sized companies"

    is fine. As suggested above:

    "Creating databases for small and medium companies"

    might be better, but anyhow it's certainly shorter and that alone is an improvement. :)
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 21-Mar-2016 at 15:48. Reason: Added "Not a teacher"

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: how to write an advertisement

    Hm. Small and medium companies? What's a medium company? I'd say "small and medium-size companies."

    Or "small and mid-size companies."

    The hyphen helps. It turns two words into a single adjective. Without it, the company is both medium and size, which makes no sense. With it, the company is medium-size.

    I'd to drop the d from -sized. The d implies that an action was performed to change the size of the company. Someone medium-sized it or mid-sized it. Without the d, it simply describes the company's size: mid-size.

    So if it were my ad, it would say: Creating databases for small and mid-size companies.

    And yes, bulky makes no sense. Coats, sweaters, and packages can be bulky. Not companies.

    Last (and probably least): "Thank you" is much better than "Thank you in advance," which implies that you won't thank us later.
    Last edited by Charlie Bernstein; 01-Apr-2016 at 18:03.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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