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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Tunisia
      • Current Location:
      • Tunisia

    • Join Date: Mar 2016
    • Posts: 3
    #1

    need correction for my motivation letter

    I would like to introduce myself as a simple man who can be adjusted with all the multicultural friends from all over the world without any hesitation to accept their customs and to enjoy with respect their values and statement. So, after having a closer review of your organization, as well as the requirements and the eligibility, I am very excited to send you my application.
    Throughout my educational career, I have always been hard-working, determined and very ambitious. In the pursuit of knowledge, I have always adopted a rigorous approach in order to attain an in-depth understanding of the subject at hand. This has amply reflected in my consistent academic career, always coming in top students in my class. I finished my middle school with excellent results, so I found it only natural to continue my education at one of the best elite school in Tunisia and become student of Technical Sciences. Studying in such secondary school developed my spirit of competition and gave me the ability to work well under pressure. Having enjoyed doing physics and mathematics right from high school, I succeeded in the Baccalaureate Exam - session of June 2015 (with the distinction: Very Good) and established myself as one amongst the top students of the nation and continued my academic career at XXX - one of the most prestigious universities in Tunisia.
    In addition to my academic achievements, I am glad to say that I am not a person who is only engaged in studies. I have dozens of activities which I like to do. Generally, I would like to note that I have always kept healthy lifestyle. I was taught that it is much better to struggle with your sicknesses by developing your health rather than taking drugs infinitely. All these clearly define my high interest in keeping healthy lifestyle that is reflected in my big love of sport. For instance, I am a real football fan which means that I enjoy playing and watching it. Thus I always try to find some time to go out and play such a wonderful game with my friends. In addition, I was a part of a Taekwondo team for 8 years, so it is clear that I like such kinds of sports that upgrade strength, stamina, reaction and flexibility. Finally, I cannot forget that reading books is another passion of mine. Thus, most of all I prefer Drama, Comedy and Science fiction.
    Studying Computer Science Engineering at a distinguished University is what I want to do, and the XXX programme is a great match to my interests.
    This Programme will not just give me the opportunity to study in a well-known country with
    astonishing history and universities, most of them aged more than 200 years, but also it will
    put me in a highly challenging environment with other students from all over the world which
    will push me to do my best and develop my skills in a completely different atmosphere.
    Besides, I would like to have new perspectives, paradigms, spirits, and new experiences by sharing ideas and having relationships and communications with people around the globe. It would be fascinating if I have international networking. Moreover, I want to see and feel the European ethics and culture and want to explore the idols of the history, enjoy architecture of cities. So being a part of a XXX university will open many doors for me and will contribute in building a successful career, but without having the scholarship, all these opportunities seem to be hard to reach for me due to the financial difficulties that makes me unable to afford studying abroad on my own.
    Given my past history of commitment to excellence, I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your programme. I will enrich the programme by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and open nature.
    Finally, I do believe that I am the right person for this programme. My academic transcript illustrates my success as a student and this can be assumed as an indicator of my potential for undergraduate study.
    Thank you very much for considering my application.
    Yours faithfully,

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,843
    #2

    Re: need correction for my motivation letter

    Quote Originally Posted by Oussama13 View Post
    I would like to introduce myself as a simple man who can be adjusted with all the multicultural friends from all over the world without any hesitation to accept their customs and to enjoy with respect their values and statement.
    For a start, I have no idea what your opening sentence is supposed to mean? Can you try to explain it in a different way? How can you be a "simple man who can be adjusted"? Do you know the definition of the verb "adjust"?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Tunisia
      • Current Location:
      • Tunisia

    • Join Date: Mar 2016
    • Posts: 3
    #3

    Re: need correction for my motivation letter

    By "adjusted", I want to say that I can easily accept and live with other people!!

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,061
    #4

    Re: need correction for my motivation letter

    You are perhaps looking for the word "adaptable" here.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
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      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,061
    #5

    Re: need correction for my motivation letter

    Your sentence doesn't need one exclamation mark, much less two.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,061
    #6

    Re: need correction for my motivation letter

    What does "enjoy with respect their values and statement" mean?

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