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    #1

    take down

    Are these sentences right?

    I received a call from Mr. Oh and I decided to take down the message for you instead of forwarding the call to you as I knew you were not at your desk at that time. I hope you are fine with that. Mr. Oh said their products would be ready in one to two months time.

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: take down

    I received a call from Mr. Oh and I decided to take a message for you, (instead of forwarding the call,) as I knew you were not at your desk at that time. I hope you are fine with that. Mr. Oh said their products would be ready in one to two months time.
    I think you could dispense with the part in brackets as it's not really necessary.
    “Every miserable fool who has nothing at all of which he can be proud, adopts as a last resource pride in the nation to which he belongs; he is ready and happy to defend all its faults and follies tooth and nail, thus reimbursing himself for his own inferiority.”

    — Arthur Schopenhauer

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    #3

    Re: take down

    Anglophones would write I hope you are OK with that or I hope that's OK with you, not I hope you are fine with that. "Fine" is used in affirmative replies, but usually not in questions or statements meant to evoke a response.
    I am not a teacher.

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: take down

    Quote Originally Posted by swallow888 View Post
    Are these sentences right?

    Not bad! I'd say:

    I received a call from Mr. Oh, and I decided to take down the message for you instead of forwarding it, because I knew you were not at your desk [Delete: at that time]. I hope you are fine with that. Mr. Oh said their products would be ready in one or two months time.

    You need the first comma because it's a compound sentence. You need the second comma because you're starting a dependent clause. You also had some unneeded words, which I took out. In conversational English, it's good to be concise.
    I hope that helps!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: take down

    You need the first comma because it's a compound sentence.
    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie Bernstein View Post
    I hope that helps!
    I disagree. I think the first comma is optional. I wouldn't use it.
    “Every miserable fool who has nothing at all of which he can be proud, adopts as a last resource pride in the nation to which he belongs; he is ready and happy to defend all its faults and follies tooth and nail, thus reimbursing himself for his own inferiority.”

    — Arthur Schopenhauer

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