The Fiction of Reality, part eight

[Tarheel]

I do not know what is going on with TEECHAR. I hope he is safe. (As you know, he used to do they heavy lifting on these threads.)

 

[Bassim]

I have got a message from teechar on 31 March in which he wrote to me he was travelling.

 

[Tarheel]

Fourth paragraph. First sentence. Say:

Let us imagine that the local town council....

Or you could say:

Now let us suppose....

 

[Tarheel]

Fifth paragraph. First sentence. Say:

...I heard the sound of the clicking of shears.

 

[Tarheel]

Fifth paragraph. Say:

He asked me where I was from.

And:

I knew you were from the Balkans.

And:

he reeled off a list of at least 11 Yugoslavian players....

And:

I liked playing against them.

 

[Tarheel]

Sixth paragraph. First sentence. You could say:

he had fled the Communist dictatorship....

Although, of course, "escaped from" works. The original is fine too.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

A veteran and injury-ravaged football player, he had no use for his skills in Sweden, so he became a gardener instead.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

I bumped into a cat lying on top of a stone column of the entrance gate of one of the houses down the street.

You might want to "brushed against" rather than "bumped into" there.

Finally, there is:

the cat gave me an anxious glance and then jumped down and hissed at me. It hid behind the flowerpot on the porch and glared at me.

You can keep the original, of course, but I think "glared" would be a nice touch there.

One last thing. I have the perfect picture to go with that. Now if I can just figure out how to post it here.

 

[Bassim]

Tarheel,

I am so grateful for your corrections. Thank you for your patience and useful advice you always give me when you correct my texts. I will certainly have use of them in the future. I only wish I could make less mistakes so that you could enjoy my texts without bothering with the corrections, but I hope with time my English will be much better. I already see improvements.