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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • France

    • Join Date: Mar 2016
    • Posts: 3


    Hello everyone,
    I have a speaking oral coming up (in June) and I would like to practice by writing some essays about the mains ideas :)
    I'm from France and my English isn't really good so I would really appreciate if someone could help.

    Thank you so much!

    I’m going to talk about the notion Spaces and exchanges . How can we define this notion ? First of all, we can say that we live in a world where traveling and interacting with people from the otherside of the planet has become more and more easy. Indeed technology is constantly changing and improving making our world smaller and smaller . Therefore is our culture and habits also changing. For example, we like sending email from our computer better than going to the postoffice to send a letter. However the quality of life and the way of living are not the same all accross the world. I studied with the CNED, three documents treating this subject. What are the benefits of traveling ? How do people react when they are faced to environnment change ? The fact that we can travel so easily should be used for good auctions. Even if sometimes, technology can be considered as harmful (wars, new guns etc…), most of the people would use it for a good purposes. For example, traveling thanks to volunteering is an incredible way to open your mind and realise what is happening outside of your state or country. In the first document, which is an interview of a young man who went volunteering in a reserve in Canada, we can hear that they are some serious issues including education and developpement that most of us, living in big cities and states, have never been faced to. Actually inequalities are present in each country. Some states can be really rich, they are many skyscrapers and buildings, whereas some neighborhood can be really poor with its people living in getthos etc… But do people from developped parts of the world have the right to decide what other civilisations have to do ? In the second document we can hear an experiment about inuits raised in the UK. The inuits were taken from their home and sent to english speaking families to see how they would react and how they would evolve growing up. While the scientists thought this experience was a really instructive and beneficial thing for the inuits, the latter didn’t quite agree. Actually they felt really prejudiced after being sent home because growing up in a totally different culture and learning a totally different language from their mother tongue made them unable to resume their previous life. As adults, the inuits had to hunt again and speak with their people in their langage. Therefore, they thought this experiment was unfair and "handicapped" them. However I think the fact that people can travel and explore the world, is beyond extrordinary. Meeting new people, and learning new cultures shouldn’t be taken as a bad thing. Even if the inuits couldn’t speak their motherlanguage anymore, they could speak English which is basically the most spoken language in the world. Being able to speak it fluently should be an asset and not a weak point. Mobility is also a great way to discover new cultures and make new friends. For example, in the text The top of the world , we can see how meeting people from totally different area of the world enriches your mind and your knowledge. The two men riding through the mountain, were helped by an Inuit, who guided them so that they could reach the top of the moutain. He even invited them to his place, where they could try some local food such as beluga whale and caribou. The fact that two cultures can share and experiment each others ressources is a really great human experience. To sum up everything, we can say that mobility can lead to different opinions and effects. While some people can see it as a negative point such as the inuits raised in the UK some people see it as a benefit. It not only creates cultural diversity because people can move from a country to another but it can also be considered as a rewarding and enriching journey. Indeed for those went on a trip and got to know differents cultures, languages and heritages, it’s always an unforgettable and enriching experience. It is therefore very important for our current generation to be open-minded so that we can be aware of the issues and the problems that are still remaining in plenty of countries such the ones in Africa but also the local inequalities in developped countries like Canada as we saw before.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 30-Apr-2016 at 11:40. Reason: Enlarged font

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jan 2009
    • Posts: 3,597


    Don't put spaces before question marks.

    Don't use "etc."

    Check your spelling.

    Use apostrophes for possessive nouns (like other's).

    Break up some of the long sentences into shorter sentences.

    Put commas in compound sentences.

    Capitalize proper nouns (like Inuits).

    We only ride through mountains if there's a tunnel to ride through. Otherwise, we ride up, down, or over mountains.

    Other side is two words.

    Look up auction.

    I hope that helps!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,868


    Separate your piece into separate paragraphs. That huge block of text put me off reading it.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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