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    #1

    swipe your head?

    I'm closing the window because you're sticking your head out. A car might pass by and swipe your head.

    I'm closing the window because you're sticking your head out. A car might pass by as you're sticking out your head and swipe it.
    Not a teacher.

  1. Raymott's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: swipe your head?

    "as you're sticking your head out" is implied. It can't work any other way.

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    #3

    Re: swipe your head?

    Change 'swipe' to 'hit'.

    Who are you saying this to? It's virtually impossible for this to happen.

    Why isn't the passenger's seat belt fastened?

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    #4

    Re: swipe your head?

    Maybe he's talking to the dog?

    This is the type of situation where stronger imagery is needed. I would say something about hitting something and taking your head off, or bashing your head.

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: swipe your head?

    Quote Originally Posted by curiousmarcus View Post
    I'm closing the window because you're sticking your head out. [Don't close car windows when people's heads are sticking out! You'll strangle them!] A car might pass by and hit you.

    I'm closing the window because you're sticking your head out. A car might pass by as you're sticking out your head and swipe it. [This sentence is too wordy. And you're going to strangle your passenger.]
    I would tell passengers to pull their heads back into the car before I close their windows.

    "Swipe" isn't a good word choice. You might be thinking of side-swipe. Cars side-swipe other cars. People don't get side-swiped by cars. They get hit by cars.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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    #6

    Re: swipe your head?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rover_KE View Post

    Who are you saying this to? It's virtually impossible for this to happen.

    Why isn't the passenger's seat belt fastened?
    My son. We haven't moved yet. I fastened the seat belt once he sat down. My narrative to my son was a bit too precursory/preliminary/advanced(what word to use?)

    Edit: And a lot that should have been said (like pull your head back in) wasn't said. But I was looking to make sure he already had his head back in.
    Not a teacher.

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    #7

    Re: swipe your head?

    Quote Originally Posted by SoothingDave View Post
    Maybe he's talking to the dog?

    This is the type of situation where stronger imagery is needed. I would say something about hitting something and taking your head off, or bashing your head.
    Did it sound like it? I really should change the way I phrase things.
    Not a teacher.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: swipe your head?

    How old is your son? Is he able to buckle and unbuckle his seat belt?

    Perhaps:

    Get your head inside the car! And buckle your seat belt!

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    #9

    Re: swipe your head?

    He's four. Yes, he can.
    Not a teacher.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: swipe your head?

    The important thing is to get him to obey your safety instructions. Any explanations can come later. Make him understand that if he doesn't mind you and keep his head inside the car that you will (after he has his seat belt buckled) roll the window up so he can't do it again.

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