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    #1

    John sat on

    Would you please take a look at these sentences and correct my grammar and punctuation? I am not sure if my sentence nr 3. sounds natural.

    1. John sat on a bench in a park reading a newspaper when a piercing scream almost jolted him out of his seat.
    2. The old professor had become absent-mindedly lately and would often turn up in his class with two different shoes.
    3. The young man dived into the river. His lithe, bronzed body flew swiftly through the air before disappearing under the green surface and appearing again with a smile on his face.

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: John sat on

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Would you please take a look at these sentences and correct my grammar and punctuation? I am not sure if my sentence nr 3. sounds natural.

    1. John was sitting on a bench in a park reading a newspaper when a piercing scream almost jolted him out of his seat.
    2. The old professor had become absent-minded lately and would often turn up in his class wearing odd shoes.
    3. The young man dived into the river. His lithe, bronzed body flew swiftly through the air before disappearing under the green surface. He then reappeared with a smile on his face.
    Bhai.
    “Every miserable fool who has nothing at all of which he can be proud, adopts as a last resource pride in the nation to which he belongs; he is ready and happy to defend all its faults and follies tooth and nail, thus reimbursing himself for his own inferiority.”

    — Arthur Schopenhauer

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: John sat on

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    Would you please take a look at these sentences and correct my grammar and punctuation? I am not sure if my sentence nr 3. sounds natural.

    I agree with all of Bhai's changes and also add these:


    1. John sat on a bench in a park reading a newspaper when a piercing scream nearly jolted him out of his seat. [Nearl is more common in American English.]
    2. The old professor had become absent-mindedly lately and would often turn up in his class with shoes that didn't match [This makes it slightly clearer that the two shoes were from different pairs. You wouldn't have the same shoe on both feet. You'd have different shoes.]
    3. The young man dived into the river. His lithe, bronzed body flew swiftly through the air before disappearing under the green surface and appearing again with a smile on his face.
    Bhai's corrections are much more important than mine.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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