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    #1

    Not only...but also continuation



    Hello teachers,

    This post is a continuation of my post on 22 April. I had posted the following on 29 April, but it escaped your attention, and hence this post.

    Here are two other sentences:


    1. It should be noted that the fact that peace is in the interest of almost everyone is not only a source of its value, it is also the reason why realizing peace seems relatively feasible.

    2. Gray not only thinks that group-sensitive policies are sometimes part of a well-working modus vivendi in pluralist societies, he also thinks that significant constraints on liberty rights, for example, freedom of the press, could be part of a workable modus vivendi.


    I think these sentences are OK as they are. If not, should the word but be introduced just to make the sentences conform to the not only…but also construction?

    Here is one last sentence:

    This use provides a possibility for teachers to partner with other educators but also for students to access knowledge that otherwise would be elusive to them. (I have come across quite a few such sentences of late.)

    Does this sentence need not only? From some of your previous replies, I would think it does.

    Thanks again for your patience.

  1. Piscean's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Not only...but also continuation

    Quote Originally Posted by LaMelange View Post
    This post is a continuation of my post on 22 April. I had posted the following on 29 April, but it escaped your attention, and hence this post.
    You would have done better to bump the earlier thread, By starting a new thread, you run the risk of having two different threads on a very similar topic; this may give rise to people repeating what has already been said, or to contradictory responses.

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    #3

    Re: Not only...but also continuation

    All three sentences are good examples of heavy, verbose writing which is hard to understand. I would edit them heavily, probably dividing them into shorter sentences, and rephrase everything they try to say. Given that, I don't think it's worthwhile to try to improve them by changing a couple of words.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #4

    Re: Not only...but also continuation

    Quote Originally Posted by Piscean View Post
    You would have done better to bump the earlier thread.
    I guess, by "bump" you mean I should have continued with my earlier thread.

    I started a new one because no one appeared to have noticed my earlier post. I am sorry for the inconvenience caused.

    I shall keep your advice in mind. Thank you.

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    #5

    Re: Not only...but also continuation

    Quote Originally Posted by GoesStation View Post
    All three sentences are good examples of heavy, verbose writing which is hard to understand.

    I agree with you, but we cannot do drastic changes to authors' writings. We are expected to retain authors' styles as much as possible.

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    #6

    Re: Not only...but also continuation

    I don't like the pair of commas around the parenthetical clause in sentence 2. I think that clause is distinct enough that it would read better with dashes. The first comma should be a semicolon. Finally, I'd italicize modus vivendi:

    2. Gray not only thinks that group-sensitive policies are sometimes part of a well-working modus vivendi in pluralist societies; he also thinks that significant constraints on liberty rights -- for example, freedom of the press -- could be part of a workable modus vivendi.

    The author wrote but where and belongs in the third sentence:

    This use provides a possibility for teachers to partner with other educators ​and but also for students to access knowledge that otherwise would be elusive to them.
    I am not a teacher.

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Not only...but also continuation

    Quote Originally Posted by LaMelange View Post


    Hello teachers,

    This post is a continuation of my post on 22 April. I had posted the following on 29 April, but it escaped your attention, and hence this post.

    Here are two other sentences:


    1. It should be noted that the fact that peace is in the interest of almost everyone is not only a source of its value, Either put a period (a.k.a. full stop) here or delete the comma and say "but also."] it is also the reason why realizing peace seems relatively feasible.

    2. Gray not only thinks that group-sensitive policies are sometimes part of a well-working modus vivendi in pluralist societies. He also thinks that significant constraints on liberty rights. For example, freedom of the press [no comma] could be part of a workable modus vivendi.


    I think these sentences are OK as they are. If not, should the word but be introduced just to make the sentences conform to the not only…but also construction?

    Here is one last sentence:

    This use provides a possibility for teachers to partner with other educators and for students to access knowledge that otherwise would be elusive to them. (I have come across quite a few such sentences of late.)

    Does this sentence need not only? [Using not only/but also would be wordier but grammatical.] From some of your previous replies, I would think it does.

    Thanks again for your patience.
    You're welcome!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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