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      • Native Language:
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    #1

    Please clear if any mistakes in this memo

    It has been observed that the Receptionists are spending a great deal of working hours using the office computers and internet facilities for visiting social networking sites and gaming sites during the duty hours.

    Using business resources for non-business related tasks is against the rule.

    Therefore, all are requested to refrain from using the office computer for the above purposes. Violation of the said order is considered an administrative offence and severe disciplinary action will be taken against the committer.
    Last edited by sanjfer; 17-May-2016 at 19:26.

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    #2

    Re: Please clear if any mistakes in this memo

    It's not against the rule?

  1. Roman55's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Please clear if any mistakes in this memo

    It needs to be rewritten; I'll let someone else do that.

    What I don't understand is, if it isn't against the rules, what's the problem?
    Last edited by Roman55; 17-May-2016 at 18:04. Reason: cross-posted.
    I am not a teacher

  2. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Please clear if any mistakes in this memo

    Quote Originally Posted by sanjfer View Post
    It has been observed that the receptionists are spending a great deal of working hours using the office computers and Internet facilities for visiting social networking sites and gaming sites while on duty.

    Using business resources for non-business-related tasks is against the rules.

    Therefore, all are requested to refrain from using the office computer for the above purposes. Violation is an administrative offence, and severe disciplinary action will be taken.
    It's too wordy. You have too many unneeded phrases, which weakens the memo.

    "Committer" is not a word.

    I'm glad I don't work there!
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Please clear if any mistakes in this memo

    Make it a lot simpler.

    It has been noted that some staff are using the business/office IT systems for personal use. Please remember that such use is prohibited and is punishable with disciplinary action.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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