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  1. keannu's Avatar
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    #1

    black and white painting

    My favorite work of his is Guernica. One of the features of the work is that it describes war only by using black, white and gray, not red. ....

    Which is more natural? Also is "this" or "the" correct to refer to the thing in the previous sentence?
    1. The reason why I like the work is that (this/the) black and white painting maximized the fear of war to express tragedy well .2. The reason why I like the work is that (this/the) black and white painting express tragedy well by maximizing the fear of war.

  2. keannu's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: black and white painting

    I'd like to make it simple like this.

    I like the work because this black and white painting expresses tragedy well by maximizing fear of war.

  3. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: black and white painting

    Quote Originally Posted by keannu View Post
    My favorite work of his is Guernica. One of the features of the work is that it describes war only by using black, white and gray, not red. ....

    Which is more natural? The lines above are very natural. What other sentence are you comparing it to?


    Also is "this" or "the" correct to refer to the thing in the previous sentence? [SPACE!!!!!!!!]
    1. The reason [Delete WHY.] I like the work is that the black, gray, and white painting maximizes the fear of war to express tragedy well [NO space before a period!]. [Space AFTER a period.]

    2. The reason [Delete WHY.] I like the work is that the black, gray, and white painting expresses tragedy well by maximizing the fear of war.
    Lines 1 and 2 are hard to understand. Yes, the colors are a feature of the painting. But what do you mean when you say that the painting expresses tragedy by maximizing the fear of war? It's not clear.

    Can you simplify what you're trying to say?
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  4. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: black and white painting

    Quote Originally Posted by keannu View Post
    I'd like to make it simple like this.

    I like the work because this black and white painting expresses tragedy well by maximizing fear of war.
    It's not clear what that means. Are you sure you mean "maximizing"? Can you think of another way to say it?

    Are you rephrasing something someone wrote?
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

  5. keannu's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: black and white painting

    I'm rephrasing someone's work, so I don't know the detail of the painting.

  6. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: black and white painting

    You can see the painting by Googling it.

    Why are you rephrasing someone's work?
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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