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    #1

    Portacabins sell-off

    Could you please correct this draft letter? Please also guide me how can I write it in a better way.

    This has refer with portacabins, we have invitied many vendors for sell-off in the past one month. Since our portacabins are not in standrad size ( allowed width 4m) many vendors refused to buy as it is required special road permit for transportation. However, one of vendors conditionally paid some advance amount, if traffic agency allowed in the road for transportation. Now, he also dont want to take our portacabins due to road permit refusal and need lot of modifications. He is asking now refund of the amount who has paid.

    In this regards, we would like to inform you that we can't sell our portacabins to the price we have fixed earlier.


    We await your advice for further move.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 28-May-2016 at 21:00. Reason: Enlarged font to make it readable
    "In sandy soil, when deep you delve, you reach the springs below; The more you learn, the freer streams of wisdom flow." - Thiruvalluvar

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Portacabins sell-off

    Quote Originally Posted by Kumar Nadimuthu View Post
    Could you please correct this draft letter? Please also guide me how can I write it in a better way.

    This has refer with portacabins, we have invitied many vendors for sell-off in the past one month. Since our portacabins are not in standrad size ( allowed width 4m) many vendors refused to buy as it is required special road permit for transportation. However, one of vendors conditionally paid some advance amount, if traffic agency allowed in the road for transportation. Now, he also dont want to take our portacabins due to road permit refusal and need lot of modifications. He is asking now refund of the amount who has paid.

    In this regards, we would like to inform you that we can't sell our portacabins to the price we have fixed earlier.


    We await your advice for further move.
    I'm sorry to say that there are so many errors in that piece that I don't really know where to start. I have marked all the grammatical, punctuation and spelling errors in red above. Even if they were corrected, I'm not sure it would make sense.

    Why don't you start with just the first sentence? In fact, start with just the first three words - "This has refer" is ungrammatical. Try again.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: Portacabins sell-off

    Try I:

    This is refers to the sales of used portacabins, we have invited many vendors for aution from past one month. Since our portacabins are wider ( allowed width 4m) many vendors are refused to buy as it was required a special road permit for transportation. However, one of our vendors conditionally paid some advance amount, if traffic department allowed in the road for transportation. Now, he also don't want to take our portacabins due to road permit refusal and need a lot of modifications. He is asking to pay the refund of the amount he has paid.

    In this regard, we would like to inform you that we can't sell our portacabins for the price we have fixed earlier.


    We await your advice.
    Last edited by Kumar Nadimuthu; 28-May-2016 at 21:51.
    "In sandy soil, when deep you delve, you reach the springs below; The more you learn, the freer streams of wisdom flow." - Thiruvalluvar

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    #4

    Re: Portacabins sell-off

    There was no need to post the whole thing again, even with the few amendments you made.

    The first three words are still incorrect. Do you understand that "refer" is a verb? As such, on what basis did you use "This is refers"? Let's just deal with those three words first.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #5

    Re: Portacabins sell-off

    This is in reference to sales our used portacabins....
    "In sandy soil, when deep you delve, you reach the springs below; The more you learn, the freer streams of wisdom flow." - Thiruvalluvar

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    #6

    Re: Portacabins sell-off

    Quote Originally Posted by Kumar Nadimuthu View Post
    This is in reference to sales of our used portacabins....
    That's much better though you need "of" after "sales". You can also say "This refers to ...".

    Let's move on to the next problem I marked - "invitied". What is wrong with that?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #7

    Re: Portacabins sell-off

    Invited- I corrected it in post #3, spelling mistake.
    "In sandy soil, when deep you delve, you reach the springs below; The more you learn, the freer streams of wisdom flow." - Thiruvalluvar

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    #8

    Re: Portacabins sell-off

    Quote Originally Posted by Kumar Nadimuthu View Post
    Could you please correct this draft letter? Please also tell me how can I write it better.

    Ems is right. There are so many mistakes that it's hard to understand what you mean. Here's another interpretation:


    Regarding our portacabins, we have ​invited many vendors to our close-out sale over the past month. Since our portacabins are not the standard four-meter size, many vendors are not buying them, because moving them requires a special road permit. One vendor made an advance payment on the condition that the traffic agency allows it to be moved. But the permit was refused, and the vendor is now asking for a refund.

    This means that we can't sell our portacabins at the price we quoted earlier.

    We await your advice on next steps.
    This is all very strange. The price doesn't seem to be the problem. The problem is the non-standard design. Apparently, your portacabins can't be sold at ANY price.

    Who are you writing to? If you're writing to a vendor, why are you waiting for the vendor's advice? You should be telling the vendor what you're willing to offer or do.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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