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    #1

    Red face Text for my oral exam

    Hello, I have to prepare a text for my final exam, in two weeks. I would like that someone correct what is wrong or not true English (only language errors, not on the content). It would be so nice if you can re-write it as native English are speaking : (1/2)

    The idea of progress can be defined as an a development - a technical, scientific or social advance. To illustrate this notion, we studied the beliefs of “Self made man, which is deeply rotten in the American culture and European seen of this continent. We may wonder to what extent does the Self-man man conveys an idea of progress? First, we’ll talk about the work ethic required to get higher, and then, contribute to technical progress. Finally, we may wonder the ambigus impact of the self made man beliefs on American social advance / social values.

    I. Steve Jobs is the perfect example of the American work ethic. He was a college dropout and at a young age, nothing about this man’s life shouted success. Jobs’s first company was born out of his own garage. His company is the world famous Apple Inc. His first great invention was that of the Macintosh computer. The future looked very bright but however, he was forced to leave Apple. For most people, this would have been devastating and many would have never recovered. But his determination refused to be put out and he never quit. He immediately founded a new company by the name of NeXT. Back to Apple, he created the famous iPhone. He has shown us that the is still alive, that through hard work and creativity, anything is possible. II. Henry Ford is an industrialist who became a pioneer of mass production –he is here present by the writer Dos Passos in his book “The Big money”. He produced cars on a large scale and hired unskilled workers to work on the assembly line. He managed to standardize his output to enhance efficiency in his plants. He created a famous car, the Model T, which sold millions. He was the first car manufacturer to produce and sell millions of low-priced cars, so that many families, even among Ford’s workers, were affordable to buy a Ford T. Ford T is a symbol of “American way of life”: we see here that self made man as Ford contribute to a progress for the whole society, which benefits have betters living conditions and facilitate human’s activities.
    III. But what is the real price of these progresses? Let us go to the second part of the text. It said that Ford imposed tough work rhythms on his employees and made a huge profit by luring them with higher wages, which they could only attain by long working hours.. He hints that Ford was able to make a profit because the workers were “sweated” and had tough working conditions. He exposes the drawbacks of mass production and assembly lines, where blue-collar workers were given tedious and repetitive jobs. He also makes a comment on their wages, since they were promised five dollars a day, but “of course it turned out that there were strings to it,” or to put it differently, they had to increase their efficiency and work long hours so that the output would be greater. Workers were also keeping under surveillance, almost in a totalitarian way. For Dos Passos, Ford’s workers can be seen as exploited and so, what we considered before as a society progress could be also seen as a social decline. Moreover, if only those who reach are recognized by society, it means that poors are just considered as people who “failed” because they didn’t work enough, that their situations is the complete result of their own fault. This capitalist-liberal point of view legalizes social inequalities.

    Another consequence of the self made man myth is the glorification of wealth because the social achievement is only reflected by money you have to flaunt. A famous expression in American language is to “make money”. Fitzgerald had dealt with this theme in his novel the Great Gatsby. This extract describe a party done by the principal character, Gatsby, a wealthy man in the 20’s which have make his fortune by blurred means, notably thanks to bootlegger activities. He can be considered as a self made man because he always reached to recover his money even after having lost everything. His party shows the shallowness of his guests, who acting as in a theater play. They aren’t interesting in each other, and they are only interesting in Gatsby about his fortune and the way he made fortune. The rest of the novel is even more critic about this materialist society, because Gatsby who had for him the money and social achievement isn’t happy. He can’t buy the true value of life, love.
    Self-made men climbed up the rungs of the social ladder and moved from rags to riches. thanks to their hard work. They are admired for stimulating economic vitality; to offer innovation to society. But the other side of the coin reveals us that the American work ethics also meant to turn a blind eye on poverty and rough working condition of those who “failed”. In a nutshell, if self-made men can be synonym of personal progress and that their achievements contribute to technical progress it is not a guarantee of global social advance. Moreover, the glorification of money can make our life appears more superficial, which even call into question the benefit of success on our self-fulfilment. The idea of progress can be defined as an a development - a technical, scientific or social advance. To illustrate this notion, we studied the beliefs of “Self made man, which is deeply rotten in the American culture and European seen of this continent. We may wonder to what extent does the Self-man man conveys an idea of progress? First, we’ll talk about the work ethic required to get higher, and then, contribute to technical progress. Finally, we may wonder the ambigus impact of the self made man beliefs on American social advance / social values.
    I. Steve Jobs is the perfect example of the American work ethic. He was a college dropout and at a young age, nothing about this man’s life shouted success. Jobs’s first company was born out of his own garage. His company is the world famous Apple Inc. His first great invention was that of the Macintosh computer. The future looked very bright but however, he was forced to leave Apple. For most people, this would have been devastating and many would have never recovered. But his determination refused to be put out and he never quit. He immediately founded a new company by the name of NeXT. Back to Apple, he created the famous iPhone. He has shown us that the is still alive, that through hard work and creativity, anything is possible.

    II. Henry Ford is an industrialist who became a pioneer of mass production –he is here present by the writer Dos Passos in his book “The Big money”. He produced cars on a large scale and hired unskilled workers to work on the assembly line. He managed to standardize his output to enhance efficiency in his plants. He created a famous car, the Model T, which sold millions. He was the first car manufacturer to produce and sell millions of low-priced cars, so that many families, even among Ford’s workers, were affordable to buy a Ford T. Ford T is a symbol of “American way of life”: we see here that self made man as Ford contribute to a progress for the whole society, which benefits have betters living conditions and facilitate human’s activities. III. But what is the real price of these progresses? Let us go to the second part of the text. It said that Ford imposed tough work rhythms on his employees and made a huge profit by luring them with higher wages, which they could only attain by long working hours.. He hints that Ford was able to make a profit because the workers were “sweated” and had tough working conditions. He exposes the drawbacks of mass production and assembly lines, where blue-collar workers were given tedious and repetitive jobs. He also makes a comment on their wages, since they were promised five dollars a day, but “of course it turned out that there were strings to it,” or to put it differently, they had to increase their efficiency and work long hours so that the output would be greater. Workers were also keeping under surveillance, almost in a totalitarian way. For Dos Passos, Ford’s workers can be seen as exploited and so, what we considered before as a society progress could be also seen as a social decline. Moreover, if only those who reach are recognized by society, it means that poors are just considered as people who “failed” because they didn’t work enough, that their situations is the complete result of their own fault. This capitalist-liberal point of view legalizes social inequalities.

    The rest of the text is coming in the next post

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Text for my oral exam

    As stated in the forum rules, we cannot help with homework, assignments or any piece which will be used in an exam. The English you produce must be your own work.

    Thread closed.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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