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    #1

    One day, as I was walking from the office

    One day, as I was walking from the office on the side of the street. I saw that the street was full of vehicles and people. The people looked tired and sad. I was also tired because hard work in the office. I saw a flower shop on the right side of the street and the flower shop was full with different types of colorful and fresh flowers, these flowers were reduced my tiredness.
    In that moment I was realized that I had an empty vase at home, checked pocket to buy flowers and there was some money left in the pocket and these monies were enough to buy flowers. I decided to buy flowers to my vase, but I was very confused to choose flower colors because all flowers were looking great and fresh, I was felt if I rich I would buy all flowers.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: One day, as I was walking from the office

    Korishivu, I have moved your thread to the Editing and Writing Topics section. I have also changed the title so that it is specific to this thread. Titles should include some/all of the words/phrases you are asking us to help with. In addition, a title such as "Correct my story" is unhelpful and, in the absence of "please", impolite.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: One day, as I was walking from the office

    Sorry, I will keep this in mind in the future.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: One day, as I was walking from the office

    In your other thread, you said that the purpose of this essay is that you are "learning English". I realise that but it did not answer my specific question - what are you going to do with this story when it is correct? When are you going to submit it to your English teacher/tutor?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: One day, as I was walking from the office

    Perhaps:

    One day, as I was walking to the subway from the office, I noticed that the people passing by looked tired and sad.

    In the original, you seem to have put the pedestrians in the street with the vehicular traffic. Not safe!

    Please space between paragraphs.

    I can't help you anymore until you answer Ems' question.

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    #6

    Re: One day, as I was walking from the office

    Thanks Tarheel,
    I will do that one and also if you find any grammar mistake, please correct me.

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    #7

    Re: One day, as I was walking from the office

    Hi emsr2d2,


    I am trying to write below story in my own words. I need someone to correct me when am wrong.


    1. When it completes I don't do anything with this story.
    2. When you correct me if am wrong in above paragraphs. I will write the remaining part and when it completes it will be in this thread only.





    I am trying to improve my English Grammar.
    Last edited by korishivu; 30-May-2016 at 03:14.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: One day, as I was walking from the office

    Quote Originally Posted by korishivu View Post
    Thanks Tarheel,
    I will do that one and also if you find any grammar mistake, please correct me.
    Okay, but I would not be correcting you. I would be correcting your mistakes. Big difference!

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: One day, as I was walking from the office

    I will look at it some more in the morning. Bedtime!

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: One day, as I was walking from the office

    Say:

    I was also tired because I had been working hard at the office.

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