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    #1

    Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.

    Does this sentence sound natural? If not, how can I improve it?

    Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.
    Last edited by Rover_KE; 31-May-2016 at 08:40.

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    #2

    Re: Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.

    I have changed your thread title.

    'Thread titles should include all or part of the word/phrase being discussed.'

    No, it doesn't sound natural. Write it in simpler words.

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    #3

    Re: Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.

    Before her intense love, he finally accepted her.

    Not sure whether this works.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.

    That doesn't work at all. He can't "finally" do something "before" she does something else.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #5

    Re: Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.

    I'd better give it up.

    Her pursuit of his love finally succeeded?

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.

    Do you mean "After years of pursuing him, he finally fell in love with her" or something similar?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Matthew Wai's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.

    Quote Originally Posted by GoodTaste View Post
    Before her intense love, he finally accepted her.
    Do you mean 'Because of' instead of 'Before'?
    I am not a teacher.

  4. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    That doesn't work at all. He can't "finally" do something "before" she does something else.
    "Before" there meant "confronted by," "facing" - not "prior to."

    GoodTaste, the biggest problem is the word "vehement." Did you find it in a thesaurus? It doesn't exactly mean "powerful" or "intense" or "overwhelming." Have you looked it up?
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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    #9

    Re: Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Do you mean "After years of pursuing him, he finally fell in love with her" or something similar?
    Not necessarily for years, she just demonstrated, all out, her strong love toward him to win him over.

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    #10

    Re: Facing her vehement love pursuit, he finally fell in love with her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew Wai View Post
    Do you mean 'Because of' instead of 'Before'?
    That's it. "Because of" is crystal clear and I was not sure whether I've used "before" correctly.

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