[Application] please kindly correct my answer to research experience

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shapol46

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My Master thesis project was about xxx.
I worked on my thesis project because of several reasons. My tutor worked on genes involve in special types of xxx diseases such as xxx and xxx but among them xxx not only in our lab but also in my country was not studied. At the moment there were a few global studies and we aimed to compare our result with them hoping to get a conclusion. I was the only one in our lab who worked on xxx therefore I have done all parts myself under supervision of my supervisor. I collected xxx and xxx samples from a children hospital by contacting directly with parents and patients and based on their satisfaction. Although as I mentioned before this was not my favorite field of study, yet I learned a lot. How to deal with several challenges as it was my first research experience. How to convince parents that this investigation will be helpful for future generations which was the most difficult part of my work, how to present my results weekly and monthly. When there were no bands or several bands on the gel, I learned to find out my mistakes by going back and repeat all steps in my mind or searching on net to learn how to solve it by using others experience and share mine as well. xxx, xxx, xxx and xxx were some of main techniques I used. During work on xxx I also worked on xxx by using the same techniques. I also worked on xxx in a lab for a few months. Our animal models were rat and mouse and as a result I am expert in xxx and xxx methods.
 

Tarheel

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I do not know what xxx is or why it is supposed to be a mystery.
 

Tarheel

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I am pretty sure it's "master's thesis".
 

Tarheel

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That should be at least two and probably three paragraphs. (Space between paragraphs.) However, please do not change the original post.
 

Tarheel

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Say:

I worked on my thesis project for several reasons.
 

Tarheel

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Say:

I worked on my thesis project for several reasons.

Whenever you say something like that you need to state what the reasons are.
 

Tarheel

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Say:

My tutor worked on genes involved in....

(I am unclear about why you can't mention the diseases studied. Is it a secret for some reason?)
 

Tarheel

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What are global studies?
 

Tarheel

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If you are going to mention something that you did not study you need to explain why. After all, there is usually no reason to mention what you are not studying.
 

shapol46

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hi
thank you so much. to be honest the article related to my thesis has the same name and has not been published yet that's why i did not mention the name of my thesis project and the disease as well.i will send it again with less xxx!and hope it seems better this time.
the reasons are my tutor suggestion and lack of facility that i have mentioned in motivation letter and did not repeat it here but you are right i should remove that sentence. By global studies i mean the research has been done about this disease around the world. the PhD position i like to apply for is not related to my previous research and i really like to do that that's why i emphasis the previous research was not my favorite but again i think that's right and it's better i don't say that .


My Master thesis project was about Gene polymorphism in an autoimmune disease.
I worked on my thesis project for several reasons. My tutor worked on genes involve in special types of autoimmune diseases such as Lupus and JIA but among them xxx not only in our lab but also in my country was not studied. At the moment there were a few global studies and we aimed to compare our result with them hoping to get a conclusion.
I was the only one in our lab who worked on this disease therefore I have done all parts myself under supervision of my supervisor. I collected blood and saliva samples from a children hospital by contacting directly with parents and patients and based on their satisfaction. Although as I mentioned before this was not my favorite field of study, yet I learned a lot. How to deal with several challenges as it was my first research experience. How to convince parents that this investigation will be helpful for future generations which was the most difficult part of my work, how to present my results weekly and monthly. When there were no bands or several bands on the gel, I learned to find out my mistakes by going back and repeat all steps in my mind or searching on net to learn how to solve it by using others experience and share mine as well. DNA extraction, SSP-PCR, primer design and electrophoresis agarose gel.
During work on (the disease) I also worked on (another gene) by using the same techniques. I also worked on Hair follicle stem cell in a lab for a few months. Our animal models were rat and mouse and as a result I am expert in RNA extraction and animal cell culture methods.
 

Charlie Bernstein

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Always capitalize the first word of sentences.

Always capitalize the word "I."

No one here will steal your work. (We don't even know what you're talking about!)

My master's thesis project was about gene polymorphism in an autoimmune disease.
[space]
I worked on it for several reasons. My tutor has worked on genes involved in special types of autoimmune diseases such as lupus and JIA, [Spell it out the first time you say it.] but they had not been studied anywhere in this country. At the time, there were a few global studies, [Do you mean "global studies" or "studies in other countries"? A global study is a study of the entire world.] and we aimed to compare our results.
[space]
I was the only one in our lab who worked on this disease. I did all of it myself under the direction of my supervisor. I collected blood and saliva samples from a children's hospital by contacting directly with parents and patients. [Delete "and based on their satisfaction." It makes no sense.] Although this field was not my focus, I learned how to deal with unexpected challenges, how to convince parents that this investigation will serve future generations (the most difficult part of my work), and how to present my results weekly and monthly.
[space]
When there were no bands or several bands on the gel, [Will your readers know what that means?] I learned to find my mistakes by going back and repeating steps or searching on the Internet to learn others' experience and share mine, as well. I studied DNA extraction, SSP-PCR, primer design and electrophoresis agarose gel.
[space]
While working on (the disease), I also worked on (another gene), using the same techniques. In addition, I worked on hair follicle stem cells in a lab for a few months. Our animal models were rats and mice, and as a result I am an expert in RNA extraction and animal cell culture methods.

Impressive work! Best wishes on your new career!
 

Tarheel

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Say:

I collected blood and saliva samples from a children's hospital by contacting parents and patients directly.

It is pointless, I think, to mention what is not your favorite thing unless somebody asks you.

Charlie gave you some very good advice.
 

Tarheel

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A possible title for this thread:

Gene polymorphism
 

shapol46

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many thanks of both of you guys
 

shapol46

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i know we are not suppose to say thanks here but i really appreciate your kindness.
thanks a lot
 

shapol46

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By global studies I mean in other countries however I mentioned before that it was unique in my country, as well. therefore, I think I should say other countries or delete in my country. Bands on gel are bands that we can see on electrophoresis gel. When we load the mixture of different segments of the same molecule (DNA, RNA or protein) on pores located in one side of the gel, this device separate them based on their size. an electrical field push them through the gel and the small segments move faster than larger ones.

Many many thanks again

attachment.php
 

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Tarheel

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many thanks of both of you guys

Try:

Many thanks to both of you!

(Remember that the first word of every sentence (or, in this case, nonsentence) is capitalized.
 

Tarheel

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i know we are not SUPPOSED to say thanks here but i really appreciate your kindness.
thanks a lot

The reason for that is so i don't have to do so much typing. (Not really.)
 

Tarheel

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By global studies I mean in other countries however I mentioned before that it was unique in my country, as well. therefore, I think I should say other countries or delete in my country. Bands on gel are bands that we can see on electrophoresis gel. When we load the mixture of different segments of the same molecule (DNA, RNA or protein) on pores located in one side of the gel, this device separate them based on their size. an electrical field push them through the gel and the small segments move faster than larger ones.

Many many thanks again

attachment.php

I am going to wait for Charlie to explain that to me. In the meantime, I have pictures to look at. ;-)
 

shapol46

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