[General] Can you correct my letter

[tellmeastory]

Dear All,

This letter is for a job application. Can an expert help me to correct or add so that I can find a job.

This has reference to the mail received yesterday.


I have 16 years African experience - Ivory Coast, Benin, Togo, Burkina Faso, Tanzania (March 2000 to March 2016), 4 years United Arab Emirates experience (February 1995 to November 1997) and 1 year Indian experience (March 1994 to February 1995) in my work field.

I have been working with XXX for 12 years in Ivory Coast as full time and 5 years in Tanzania as part time. I started as accountant with XXX and later I became the country head, in 2012 I left the company as I worked with a company directly in procuring and exporting of raw cashewnut from Ivory coast to India. As they was price fluctuation in the year 2012 I couldn't achieve my requirements as I exported on 1250mt. In 2013 I worked on commission basis in Ivory Coast.
I was trying to change from cashew to other activities in 2013 and I got an opportunity to with the XXX an Indian company in importation of jute bags in Ivory Coast. From November 2013 to March 2016 I was working with them. As we couldn't get the raw materials from India, the company XXX was closed in Ivory Coast. I was the only staff handling import, sales, logistics & banking. We imported 1,2millions jute bags from Calcutta and sold to Cocoa & Cashewnut companies for exporting their agricultural products.
With my above experience in different African countries, if my experiences suit for an opening in your company I am happy to take the work.

If anything to be added please add, help me for a good letter so that I will get the best impression.

Regards

XXX

 

[teechar]

I have 16 years' [STRIKE]African[/STRIKE] solid professional experience in Africa - Ivory Coast, Benin, Togo, Burkina Faso, and Tanzania (March 2000 to March 2016), 4 years in the United Arab Emirates [STRIKE]experience[/STRIKE] (February 1995 to November 1997) and 1 year in India [STRIKE]n experience[/STRIKE] (March 1994 to February 1995) in my [STRIKE]work[/STRIKE] field.

I [STRIKE]have been working[/STRIKE] worked full time with XXX for 12 years in Ivory Coast [STRIKE]as full time[/STRIKE] and part time with YYY for 5 years in Tanzania. [STRIKE]as part time.[/STRIKE] I started as an accountant with XXX, and later I became the country head. In 2012, I left the company as I [STRIKE]worked[/STRIKE] started working with a company directly involved in the procuring and exporting of raw cashew nuts from Ivory coast to India. As [STRIKE]they was[/STRIKE] there were price fluctuations in the year 2012, I couldn't achieve my [STRIKE]requirements[/STRIKE] target as I exported only 1250 mt. In 2013, I worked on commission basis in Ivory Coast.

I [STRIKE] was trying[/STRIKE] wanted to change from cashews to other products [STRIKE]activities[/STRIKE] in 2013, [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] so I got an opportunity to work with the XXX - an Indian company involved in the importation of jute bags in Ivory Coast. I worked with that company from November 2013 to March 2016. [STRIKE]I was working with them.[/STRIKE] As we couldn't get the raw materials from India, [STRIKE]the company[/STRIKE] XXX [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] closed down in Ivory Coast. I was the only staff member left, and I was in charge of handling imports, sales, logistics & banking. We imported 1.2 million jute bags from Calcutta and sold them to Cocoa & Cashew-nut companies for exporting their agricultural products.

With my above experience in different African countries, [STRIKE]if my experiences[/STRIKE] I hope there is a suitable position for [STRIKE]an opening[/STRIKE] me in your company. [STRIKE]I am happy to take the work.[/STRIKE]

I thank you for your kind consideration and look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

XXX

"Country head" doesn't work; perhaps you mean "chief accountant" or "general manager" instead.