The phrase "I'd love to."

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popri

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I know a man uses the phrase “I’d love to.”, but I sometimes feel he might be a gay when he says it so often.
Do you all guy members ever avoid using the phrase?
If you don’t want to use it, what phrases would use instead?

Example: We’ll have a party this coming Friday night. Why don’t you come along?
I’d love to.
 

popri

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Sorry to confuse you.

I'd just like to know what phrases men would use instead of "I'd happy to."
I imagine some men might try to avoid using womanly words and phrases such as "Oh, my goodness!" and "fabulous!"
Of course, it depends on how you speak. But I doubt whether he is a gay or not when he says "I'd love to." so often.
It doesn't matter if he is a gay or not, but I'd like to know how men use the phrase.
Like I said in the first thread, I know both men and women use it.
 

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I use "I'd love to" occasionally, but mostly to my sister. Usually it's in response to questions like "Would you like to come up for Christmas?" I'd say I use it more with women. (And I'm not gay.) I think you'd need more signs than that, such as tone of voice, associated gestures, and whether he prefers sex with other men. The last tends to be a giveaway! ;-)

Don't say "a gay". It sounds terrible. You can say "He's gay" (adjective). Strangely though, "She's a lesbian" doesn't sound so bad (to me). I'd say, "I'm heterosexual", not "I'm a heterosexual".
 

popri

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Dear Raymott:

Thank you for writing.
One more question.
What’s the difference between “He is a gay.” and “He is gay.”?
It might be fussy, but I’m not a native speaker and I have no idea about the difference.
How awful do you feel when you hear that he is A gay?
Do you feel bothered when you hear I’m a Japanese or I’m an American?
Or is it only a matter of gay and a gay?
 
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tedmc

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I know a man uses the phrase “I’d love to”, but I sometimes feel he might be a gay when he says it so often.
Do you [STRIKE]all guy members[/STRIKE] guys [STRIKE]ever avoid using[/STRIKE] use the phrase?
If you don’t want to use it, what phrases would you use instead?

Example: We’ll have a party this coming Friday night. Why don’t you come along?
I’d love to.

"I'd love to" may sound overzealous to Asian culture but it is a common expression in English.
You could say "I'd like to" to make it sound less passionate.

"He is a gay" is like giving a person a label, which is kind of rude.
"He is gay" implies a person has gay tendencies, which is a more discreet way of saying it.
 
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emsr2d2

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I have never considered that someone's utterances might be a suggestion of their sexuality. That might be because I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in someone's sexuality - it's none of my business (or anyone else's)!

I certainly don't find "I'd love to" to be anything other than an expression indicating how delighted someone would be to do something.
 

Charlie Bernstein

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Dear Raymott:

Thank you for writing.
One more question.
What’s the difference between “He is a gay.” and “He is gay.”?
It might be fussy, but I’m not a native speaker and I have no idea about the difference.
How awful do you feel when you hear that he is A gay?
Do you feel bothered when you hear I’m a Japanese or I’m an American?
Or is it only a matter of gay and a gay?

The first is a noun. The second is an adjective.

The first labels him. The second describes him.

Some people are not offended by labeling. Some are.

"An American" and "American" are both correct. "Japanese" is correct, but "a Japanese" is not. I don't know why. It just a matter of custom.
 

Raymott

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I have never considered that someone's utterances might be a suggestion of their sexuality. That might be because I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in someone's sexuality - it's none of my business (or anyone else's)!
It might be the business of someone who plans to hit on him/her. Or is that also unwarranted discrimination?
 

emsr2d2

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It might be the business of someone who plans to hit on him/her. Or is that also unwarranted discrimination?

Well, most people I know would be happy/flattered to be hit on by anyone! If their radar is off, we can always let them down gently.
 

popri

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Thanks to all of you.
I think it’s natural for people to use certain words and phrases which are peculiar to each gender including LGBT.
A screenwriter would choose those words on purpose in order to describe characters’ personality vividly.
What if native speakers didn’t tell nonnative speakers those words? I don’t have a prejudice against LGBTs,
but I think it important to know those words as a knowledge. Native speakers can sense it, but at least I can’t.

Anyway, many of you don’t think a man who always keeps saying “I’d love to do such and such.” is feminine, right?
I hope you’ll write simple English since I’ve been writing these sentences with looking up every other word in a dictionary.
Is this site for English learners as well?
 

TheParser

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Hello, Popri:

Yes, I agree with you: English learners want definite rules, which give them more confidence.

1. Here in the United States, it is a running joke that only gay men use the word "fabulous." Whenever the writer of a TV show wants to portray a character as gay, s/he will often have the character say the word "fabulous." Therefore, in my opinion, it would be a good idea if male learners coming to the United States avoided the word "fabulous." For example, I am pretty sure that no American-style football player would dare use that word.

2. If you want a definite rule regarding "I'd love to," perhaps male learners should avoid it. I guess one could reply with "That would be great!" or "Thanks! I'll be there!" or "Wild horses couldn't keep me away!"
 

emsr2d2

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Anyway, many of you don’t think a man who always keeps saying “I’d love to do such and such.” is feminine, right?
I hope you’ll write simple English since I’ve been writing these sentences with looking up every other word in a dictionary.
Is this site for English learners as well?

Of course this site is for English learners! Your English in this thread did not make me think that I needed to write in simple language.

My simple answer to your question is no, I do not think that a man who says "I'd love to" would seem feminine.
 

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Anyway, many of you don’t think a man who always keeps saying “I’d love to do such and such.” is feminine, right?

No. It's common among Anglophones of every gender and inclination.
 

emsr2d2

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Whilst I can't pretend to know what sort of language an "American-style Football player" might use, I cannot agree with TheParser that learners should avoid either "I'd love to" or "Fabulous".

This might be deemed off-topic but TheParser's suggestion that certain people "would not dare use that word" is indicative of a somewhat out-of-date attitude - that people (men in particular) are concerned that other people might think they are gay. In less enlightened times, it might well have been the case that people would not want other people to think they are gay but this is the 21st century and in the majority of civilised countries, such considerations are not appropriate or necessary. If someone thinks you're gay, so what? And if that person thinks less of you because they think you might be gay then they're really not worth your time.
 

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There is absolutely nothing in the phrase 'I"d love to' that suggests anything with sexual orientation, just as there is nothing in the opposite phrase 'I'd hate to' that suggests anything about sexual orientation.

There similarly is no reason to avoid using either phrase. I'll use it from time to time myself. As with any phrase or expression, if you over-use it or say it all the time for every situation, it does start to sound trite, but that doesn't imply a sexual orientation.

I've even used the expression "I'd love to get to know you better" to express interest in a woman. It was because I found her intriguing and attractive that I used that expression, not because I was trying to insinuate I was homosexual!:roll:
 

Charlie Bernstein

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There is absolutely nothing in the phrase 'I"d love to' that suggests anything with sexual orientation . . . .

Right. Of course, context is everything, and we don't know what kind of conversation Popri is imagining.

I know that I'd love to have a pre-World War II Gibson guitar. If that makes me sound gay to some people, that says more about them than it does about me.
 

popri

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I’m kind of confused because my single question has caused a big discussion. (At least it’s been a big discussion to me.)

Japanese has a women’s language and a men’s language although they have gotten neutralized year by year, and that’s made me come up with the question. When you hear or read Japanese conversations, you can tell which person is a woman and a man. (There are exceptions as well.)

There is also a kind of neutral language and it is often used in business scene. I myself try not to use womanly words when I work because I THINK they sound kind of emotional and subjective and I don’t feel them appropriate.

Besides, when a male friend of mine stayed in the U.S., he didn’t have knowledge and started sharing an apartment with a gay classmate. My friend said that the friend had looked gay, but he thought that was one of the roommate’s traits. One day, the roommate came into my friend’s bed and he jumped out of bed and ran off the apartment. Do you still think my friend was too naïve? I think if only he knew how gay people speak at that time. Then he might not have thought of sharing.
I feel to know some sort of tendency, like I’ve been asking, is not a bad thing and it doesn’t encourage the prejudice against any sexuality.

Anyway, I understand many of English native speakers don’t think that men’s heavy use of “I’d love to” bother you at all.

I hope you all understand my English. It took me a whole night to write these sentences. Whew!

Thank you SO much, dear.
 

Barb_D

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We could start an entire thread in the members discussion area on what "feminine" or "masculine" words or phrases are. I confess, seeing that "women's language" would make you see "emotional" and "subjective" briefly made me want to screen.

I know many, many gay men and not ONE of them would crawl into bed with a straight man for the purpose of intended seduction. What happened to your friend is incredibly odd.

Anyway, you know now that "I'd love to" is fine. Can we close the thread before it escalates?
 

Charlie Bernstein

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Popri -

Your writing is excellent!

In English, emotional and subjective statements are not masculine or feminine. They're just emotional and subjective.

But you're right that there are differences in the ways men and women talk. For instance, I've never heard a man (gay or straight) end a phone call with "Mmm-bye-bye."

And communcation is more than language. It's how language is used.

So your question is totally valid. But as you can see, it's hard (or impossible) to answer and can be a mine field. (For instance, it won't be a surprise if someone disagrees with what I just wrote about "Mmm-bye-bye.")

As you can see, some English speakers (especially better-educated English speakers) are cautious about identifying others as gay or straight. It's none of our business. It's intrusive. (We might do it, but we're careful about how we talk about it and whom we talk about it with.) People who want you to know they're gay will tell you.

The short answer: to learn to navigate English, you simply need more time listening to how English speakers actual talk. It will take a while, but you'll get there.
 
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