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  1. Narkises's Avatar
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    #11

    Re: History of Karbala

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    You have an ellipsis before "A caravan". You probably should delete the ellipsis and start the sentence thus: "The caravan....

    I couldn't understand much of the last part, so I didn't have any comments.
    Oh, ignore the ellipsis; I will delete it in the final text. I only wanted to show that that post is the rest of the previous post.

    I explained my intention of writing the last part. Find it above.
    Please correct my mistakes if you encounter any.

  2. Narkises's Avatar
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    #12

    Re: History of Karbala

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    "The caravan is approaching Karbala" is sufficient.

    I will sleep on this one, and I might have more ideas in the morning.
    Thank you. Sweet dreams!
    Please correct my mistakes if you encounter any.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #13

    Re: History of Karbala

    Perhaps:

    After 40 days of estrangement, separation, pain, wounds, scourges, threats and insults....

    It's probably because there is usually more than one of each that you usually see "threats and insults".

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #14

    Re: History of Karbala

    Perhaps:

    Excitement mounts as they approach Karbala. (There is still a day's journey, but they can see it in the distance.)

  5. Narkises's Avatar
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    #15

    Re: History of Karbala

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Perhaps:

    Excitement mounts as they approach Karbala. (There is still a day's journey, but they can see it in the distance.)
    Ha? No, it wasn't an exciting journey. Also, it was not a day's journey. It lasted 40 days (Arvayean= 40th day).

    Forget about "every moment". I deleted it. Please rewrite the last strange part.
    Last edited by Narkises; 30-Jun-2016 at 20:58.
    Please correct my mistakes if you encounter any.

  6. Narkises's Avatar
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    #16

    Re: History of Karbala

    "The condition of companionship is passing to the end of path."
    This sentence is really strange. Please restate it.
    I want to say that...
    For a companionship, we should do lots of things, and one of the rules(or conditions) is comanying and being with that person for ever and until the end of the way! I mean you shouldn't leave him/her after some time, in the middle of the way.

    Now, please improve the sentence.
    Please correct my mistakes if you encounter any.

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #17

    Re: History of Karbala

    Quote Originally Posted by Narkises View Post
    Ha? No, it wasn't an exciting journey. Also, it was not a day's journey. It lasted 40 days (Arvayean= 40th day).

    Forget about "every moment". I deleted it. Please rewrite the last strange part.
    No, I I didn't mean the whole journey lasted a day. I meant they could see Karbala when they were still a day away. (I don't know if that was really true.)

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #18

    Re: History of Karbala

    Quote Originally Posted by Narkises View Post
    "The condition of companionship is passing to the end of path."
    This sentence is really strange. Please restate it.
    I want to say that...
    For a companionship, we should do lots of things, and one of the rules(or conditions) is comanying and being with that person for ever and until the end of the way! I mean you shouldn't leave him/her after some time, in the middle of the way.

    Now, please improve the sentence.
    For companionship a person will indeed do many things. For example, a man will take a woman to dinner so he can enjoy her company. (You might hope that she enjoys your company as much as you enjoy hers, but that might not be the case.)

  9. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #19

    Re: History of Karbala

    Perhaps:

    I will walk with you all the way there. I will be with you from start to finish.

  10. Narkises's Avatar
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    #20

    Re: History of Karbala

    No no no!
    The most important thing is being with her, to the end! You shouldn't leave her in the middle of the way of life! Clear? The condition of true love and companionship is being with her and passing the whole way!!

    The condition of companionship is passing to the end of way.
    Please correct my mistakes if you encounter any.

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