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    #1

    ESSAY CORRECTED BY MY NATIVE TEACHER

    Hello everyone! I've just received my writing from my teacher and It's hard for me to believe that I had just 4 errors. He said that with this Essay I would pass CAE (C1) exam. What's your opinion? and do you see any other mistake?

    The exercise was something like "Write an essay about what type of book is most important to read nowadays fiction, history or Science. Discuss two of the books named and explain which one is most important and why".

    Nowadays, It is a well-established fact that a good book is essential to
    grow as a person. Sitting on the couch or on the towel at the beach, it does no matter regardless of where we are, there is always free time to learn by ourselves reading a book. Although there are so many types, what kind of book is more beneficial to read?

    Firstly, it is not only important to keep up-to-date but also to know our past history. There are those who claim that we should focus on the present and forget about what happened many years ago. However, fortunately, there are people who give History the importance it deserves. They are of the opinion that we learn from our mistakes and reading a history book about our past errors can help us to form properly the building blocks of our life properly.

    Another area which is gaining importance little by little is Technology. Currently, technological breakthroughs are changing our society. Technology is a worldwide aspect in our daily life that affects our works jobs, our relationships, our leisure time, and so on. Therefore, it is imperative for us to learn how to use it. Science books Books on Science can help us to achieve that goal.

    From my point of view, both types of books need to be taken into account. Nevertheless, I hold the view that, whereas Technology is easily learnt through hands-on activities, History can be learnt page by page, reading many books. To sum up, despite the fact that both areas are of huge relevance in our lives, learning History through written work such as books is more effective.

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    What Is Most Important?

    First paragraph. Put a comma after "teacher" (first sentence).

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: What Is Most Important?

    Neither "science" nor "history" are proper nouns.

    Say:

    And do you see any other mistakes?

    (I don't know what the "other" ones are.)

    Please capitalize the first word of every sentence.

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    #4

    Re: What Is Most Important?

    CAE -= certificate in advanced English

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    #5

    Re: ESSAY CORRECTED BY MY NATIVE TEACHER

    Quote Originally Posted by worledit View Post
    Hello everyone! I've just received my writing back from my teacher and it's hard for me to believe that I had just 4 four errors. He said that with this essay I would pass ​the CAE (C1) exam. What's your opinion, and do you see any other mistakes?
    Try to take as much care with your posts on this forum as you do with your academic English. Note my corrections above.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: ESSAY CORRECTED BY MY NATIVE TEACHER

    Between two books one can be more important than the other, but neither is necessarily most important.

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    #7

    Re: What Is Most Important?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post

    (I don't know what the "other" ones are.)
    The "other" mistakes are the ones already corrected by worledit's teacher, shown in bold in post #1.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #8

    Re: What Is Most Important?

    Ems is right, of course. It should be:

    I just received my writing back from my teacher.

    The word "essay" is not a proper noun.

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    #9

    Re: What Is Most Important?

    Say:

    a good book is essential for growth as a person

    Or:

    a good book is essential for personal growth

    And:

    on a towel at the beach

    And:

    what type of book is most beneficial to read?

  9. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: What Is Most Important?

    The phrase "past history" is what is known as a grating redundancy. Do you know why?

    Between "however" and "fortunately" you should choose one.

    The word. "history" is not a proper noun.

    It should be "our lives" (not "our life").

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