Student or Learner
I am not sure if my sentence sounds natural. Would you please take a look at it and correct my mistakes?
The man asked Anna why had she divorced, and she glared at him as if she had been pricked by a needle.
Would my sentence be correct if I rephrase it like this?
The man asked Anna why she had divorced, and she startled as if she had been pricked by a needle
No. "Startle" takes an object. His question startled her.
Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.