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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
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      • Bahrain
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      • Bahrain

    • Join Date: Oct 2015
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    #1

    Everyday passage

    Hi, I would like to improve my English by trying to compose 5 to 6 lines about any subject, and get your comments on how to correct/improve it.I'll start today and if this is not prohibited, I'll continue posting and accepting your comments.Here is my first passage:

    " Today, while I was listening to the BBC, where the program was about the old vs new ways of publishing, I heard a very good comments from one of the commentator.

    “ in the time of 24 hours live news, the news paper is still exist “,He said .

    I was overwhelmed by this fact, and thought that this is true, at the time some of our newspaper is online, live and 24 hours updating, but still there are people who prefer to buy the paper edition."

    Thank you for all.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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      • British English
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      • UK
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    #2

    Re: Everyday passage

    Quote Originally Posted by EMHM View Post
    Hi, I would like to improve my English by trying to compose 5 to 6 lines about any subject, and get your comments on how to correct/improve it them. I'll start today and, if this is not prohibited, I'll continue posting and accepting your comments. Here is my first passage:

    "Today, while I was listening to the BBC, where the while listening to a BBC program was about the old vs new ways of publishing, I heard a very good comments comment (or "very good comments") from one of the commentators.

    "In the time these days of 24 hours 24-hour live news, the newspaper is still exists", he said.

    I was overwhelmed by this fact, and thought realised that this is true - at the time moment, some of our newspapers is can be read online, live and updated 24/7 24 hours updating, but still there are people who prefer to buy the paper edition."

    Thank you for all everything.
    See my corrections above.

    Take care with your use of verbs and with your spacing round punctuation.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
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    #3

    Re: Everyday passage

    Ohhh, that’s double great!

    It is allowed to continue posting similar passages, and that you bother yourself to correct my passage. Thank you for everything :)

    So, here is today’s passage.

    “ Yesterday, I visited the telecommunication company to check my mobile bill. One of their staff told me about an offer to get I-phone VI with any 18-month contract I make with them. The mobile price will be included in the contract where I have to pay about 50$ every month.

    I was wondering, what is wrong with my SV mobile? It serve me for the last two years, and I’m happy with the android OS, so that I decided not to accept the offer and continue to pay my monthly bill according to what I consume.

    In my opinion, this is exactly what all the companies trying to do for us “ Eat more than what you need, and sometimes, more than what you can” .

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      • Chinese
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      • Malaysia
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    #4

    Re: Everyday passage

    Quote Originally Posted by EMHM View Post
    Ohhh, that’s doubly great!

    It is So I am allowed to continue posting similar passages, and that you bother yourself would care to correct my passage. Thank you for everything :)

    So, here is today’s passage:

    “ Yesterday, I visited went to the telecommunication company to check my mobile bill. One of their staff told me about an offer to get of an I-phone VI with any 18-month contract I make with them. The mobile price will be included in the contract where I have to pay about 50$ every month.

    I was wondering, "what is wrong with my SV mobile?" It has served me for the last two years, and I’m happy with the Android OS, so that I decided not to accept the offer and continue to pay my monthly bill according to what I consume.

    In my opinion, this is exactly what all the (telco?) companies are trying to do for us persuade us to do - “ Eat more than what you need, and sometimes, more than what you can” .
    .
    I am not a teacher.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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      • American English
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    #5

    Re: Everyday passage

    Fifty dollars = $50

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    #6

    Re: Everyday passage

    Breakfast is very important meal for me, so that, I started my day by breakfast.

    Usually, it consist of cheese and bread but in some occasions I replaced the cheese with cream and honey. Once in a week I eat egg in breakfast.

    I try to have salad in all my meals including breakfast.

    My breakfast does not satisfy me without a cup of milk and tea.

    I searched for breakfast dishes for different countries, and found some of them intolerable for me, especially having meat or fish in breakfast. The best I liked is the croissant and coffee.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Everyday passage

    Quote Originally Posted by EMHM View Post
    Breakfast is a very important meal for me (no comma here) so that, I started [always] start my day by with breakfast.

    Usually, it consists of cheese and bread but on some occasions (or simply "occasionally") I replaced replace the cheese with cream and honey. Once in a week, I eat eggs in for breakfast.

    I try to have salad in with all my meals, including breakfast.

    My breakfast does not satisfy me without a cup of milk and tea. (Do you mean a cup of hot tea with added milk, or do you have a cup of milk and a separate cup of tea?)

    I searched for breakfast dishes for from different countries, and found some of them intolerable for me, that didn't sound good to me, especially the ones having which include meat or fish. in breakfast. The best The one I liked best is the croissant and coffee.
    See above.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
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    #8

    Re: Everyday passage

    (Do you mean a cup of hot tea with added milk, or do you have a cup of milk and a separate cup of tea?)

    I mean a cup of tea mixed with milk! perhaps you like to share one with me sometime?

    I'm appreciating all the help you offer. I'll keep on posting my passages, and hope to improve my English.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: Everyday passage

    It's a cup of tea with milk, or just a cup of tea. It depends whether you think it's important that the reader knows you add milk to your tea.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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      • American English
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    #10

    Re: Everyday passage

    Quote Originally Posted by EMHM View Post
    (Do you mean a cup of hot tea with added milk, or do you have a cup of milk and a separate cup of tea?)

    I mean a cup of tea mixed with milk! perhaps you like to share one with me sometime?

    I'm appreciating all the help you offer. I'll keep on posting my passages, and hope to improve my English.
    Say:

    Perhaps you would like to share one with me sometime?

    And:

    I appreciate all the help you have been giving me.

    And:

    I'll keep on posting my passages, and I hope to improve my English.

    Don't forget the rule of ten.

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