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    #1

    As if she had stepped out

    Would you please correct my mistakes in the following sentences? Is it correct to use a colon as I have used?

    1. She was dressed as if she had stepped out of a wedding: an elaborate hairstyle, long white dress, and white shoes.
    2. The man looked as if he had stepped out of a Gothic novel: a broken nose, large scar under his dark eyes and long, dark jacket.

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    #2

    Re: As if she had stepped out

    I don't like sentence 1. very much. 'had stepped out of a wedding' doesn't sound good. I suggest She appeared to be dressed for a wedding: or She looked as if she was dressed for a wedding: Also, I'm not sure how to picture an 'elaborate' hairstyle (but that might be just me).

    Sentence 2. needs more for it to make sense. I suggest ...: with a broken nose,...

    I think the colons work fine.

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