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    #1

    Correct my passage Please ( Computer role in our life )

    I have written this passage just for practice. Please check it for me.

    " Computer is essential in today's life. It is almost in everything around you. Computer in its different shape, size, rate and model, can be found in watch, washing machine, car, traffic light and mobile.

    Our life becomes more and more dependent on computer, including medical equipment and sometime life support machines like heart beat controller.

    Computer as a machine, deals with 1s and 0s, where everything is arranged in LOGIC way as it inputs to the computer, where it process these inputs according a predefined routines called programs, take the logical decision and export it as output.

    Malfunction possibilities are there, including data stuck, sudden shutdown, overflow of the registers and many other problems, which in sometimes, it put human life in real danger. "

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    #2

    Re: Correct my passage Please ( Computer role in our life )

    The computer is (Computers are) essential in today's life. It is used in almost in everything around you (us). Computer in its different shapes, sizes, rate speeds and models, can be found in watch, washing machine, car, traffic light and mobil (The items should be in plural since there are many types of each item. The component in each machine that controls its functions is called a microprocessor, which forms a part of a computer).

    Our life has becomes more and more dependent on the computer, including using medical equipment and sometimes life support machines like the heart beat controller.

    The c
    omputer as a machine, deals with 1s and 0s (works on the principle of converting data to binary numbers, one and zero, which enable computations to be carried out electronically and output generated), where everything is arranged in LOGICAL way as it inputs to the computer, where it processes these inputs according a predefined routines called programs, and take the logical decision and export it as output.

    Malfunction possibilities are there, including data stuck, sudden shutdown, overflow of the registers and many other problems, which in sometimes, it may put human life in real danger (I thought there is always a backup for essential services if a system fails).
    Last edited by tedmc; 19-Jul-2016 at 10:55.
    I am not a teacher.

  1. teechar's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Correct my passage Please ( Computer role in our life )

    Quote Originally Posted by EMHM View Post

    Computers is are essential in today's life today. It is They are almost in everything around us. you. Computers come in its different shapes and sizes, rate and model, and can be found in watches, washing machines, cars, traffic lights and mobiles.

    Our life has become more and more dependent on computers, including in the use of medical equipment and sometime life-support machines like and heart pacemakers. beat controller.


    Quote Originally Posted by EMHM View Post
    Computer as a machine, deals with 1s and 0s, where everything is arranged in LOGIC way as it inputs to the computer, where it process these inputs according a predefined routines called programs, take the logical decision and export it as output.

    Malfunction possibilities are there, including data stuck, sudden shutdown, overflow of the registers and many other problems, which in sometimes, it put human life in real danger.

    Those last two paragraphs are badly written, and I'm not sure if they're worth correcting.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    The role of computers in our lives

    Redundancy is built in to certain things
    There is a backup, and sometimes there is a backup for the backup.

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    #5

    Re: Correct my passage Please ( Computer role in our life )

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Those last two paragraphs are badly written, and I'm not sure if they're worth correcting.
    Hi teechar,

    With your offensive comment , I think you add nothing to my English. That is exactly like if you did not comment on my passage at all.

    More than 80 members view the thread and might found it not worth correcting, but you were the only one who express his opinion offensively.


    My opinion and experience in this forum, put threads in respectful manner, you will get help and respect. Putting that in my mind, I'll continue posting my passages until they will be " worth correcting "

    Thank you for nothing.
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 21-Jul-2016 at 07:22. Reason: Removed entirely unnecessary line

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    #6

    Re: The role of computers in our lives

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Redundancy is built in to certain things
    There is a backup, and sometimes there is a backup for the backup.
    You are all right, it is not the computer mistake, the mistake is putting these fine equipment in the wrong hands, where excuses like, "poor maintenance", "bad management", "obsolete spare parts" are very popular.

    With a proper network arrangement, a reliable computer system can do a very good job, but that is not the case everywhere.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Correct my passage Please ( Computer role in our life )

    EHHM, when something doesn't make sense and you can't make sense out of it you can't offer suggestions. You are giving the person valuable information when you tell him/her that something doesn't make sense.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Correct my passage Please ( Computer role in our life )

    We are all volunteers here.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: The role of computers in our lives

    You can say "the equipment" or "this equipment" but not "these equipments".

  6. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: Correct my passage Please ( Computer role in our life )

    Quote Originally Posted by EMHM View Post
    Hi teechar,

    With your offensive comment , I think you add nothing to my English. That is exactly like if you did not comment on my passage at all.

    More than 80 members view the thread and might found it not worth correcting, but you were the only one who express his opinion offensively.

    My opinion and experience in this forum, put threads in respectful manner, you will get help and respect. Putting that in my mind, I'll continue posting my passages until they will be " worth correcting "

    Thank you for nothing.
    EMHM, your comments are unnecessarily harsh towards teechar (and please note that I have deleted one of the lines from your response as it was completely unconnected to learning English).

    Teechar took the time to make good corrections to your first two paragraphs so "Thank you for nothing" is entirely unwarranted. At the very least, you should be grateful for those corrections.

    "Worth correcting" might not have been the most diplomatic way of describing the last two paragraphs but sometimes on this forum we find writing which is so incomprehensible that it would not be a good use of our time to try to work through it and decipher what was meant. We usually ask the OP to rewrite any parts we can't work out.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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